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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942613">Alone Without Each Other</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/transcryptidone/pseuds/transcryptidone'>transcryptidone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blood and Chocolate (2007), Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, Polar (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Birth, Blood, Bottom Aiden, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Impregnation, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Parental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Polyamory, Power Bottom Will Graham, Pregnancy Kink, Sibling Incest, Slut Shaming, Teen Pregnancy, Top Duncan Vizla | Black Kaiser, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:27:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/transcryptidone/pseuds/transcryptidone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Will has always taken care of his little brother and gotten Aiden out of his messes. But there’s no getting out of this mess; there’s only getting through it. Aiden might make a good point when he reminds Will that they’ve always gotten through things when they went through them together — even if this is the farthest Will has ever had to go.</p><p>Will isn’t used to having anyone else along for the ride and can’t be sure yet if it’s for the better or worse that Duncan has gotten himself involved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aiden (Blood and Chocolate)/Duncan Vizla | Black Kaiser, Will Graham/Aiden (Blood and Chocolate)/Duncan Vizla, Will Graham/Duncan Vizla | Black Kaiser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know there are things about this fic that folks might not like, so please check the tags.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aiden has always been a mischief-maker. Their dad said once that from the moment Aiden could walk, Will had to pick him up when he fell over. As Aiden has gotten older, he's continued to get himself into messes he can only <em>sometimes</em> get himself out of; other times, Will has to do the clean-up. He’d bandaged Aiden’s knee when he fell climbing a fence and carried the watermelons Aiden stole all the way back home for him. He’d stood up for Aiden at school and at home when whatever scheme of his went awry. But out of all the harebrained schemes, this one really takes the cake...<br/><br/>“You can’t be serious,” Will says as he looks at his rosy-cheeked, wild-haired little brother.<br/><br/>Will glances around the hallway even though this part of the school is deserted at this time of day and they both know it. Plus, the ears that could overhear here are actually <em>preferable</em> to those at home. But still, the way Aiden’s words bounce off the linoleum might seem to make them even more forbidden.<br/><br/>Aiden leans against the wall and tips his head to press his curls against the bland off-white. Aiden is still a little bit shorter than Will and he looks up with wide eyes as he says, “Think about it, Will.”<br/><br/>“I <em>am</em> thinking about it. That’s the problem,” Will says, crowding in closer so that way his words might echo just a little less in his ears. “You’re <em>sixteen</em>.”<br/><br/>Aiden starts to smile as he answers, “You’re almost eighteen.”<br/><br/>“Exactly,” Will says as he tries to keep his expression stern. Aiden’s smiles have a way of being contagious <em>exactly</em> when Will would rather they’d not be. Unfortunately, while Will was busy cleaning up all his messes, Aiden learned the best way to keep Will from being all that mad that there would inevitably be another one. <br/><br/>Aiden tips his chin down and looks up through the blinks of his long lashes as his smirk grows a little more. “You’re not going to make me do it alone, are you?”<br/><br/>Will shakes his head and rubs his fingers against his eyes. “You could not do it at all,” he suggests.<br/><br/>“Might be too late for that.”<br/><br/>Will feels his stomach sink, weighed down with all the blood that might seem to shrink back in his veins. <em>Dread.</em> He knows that feeling well. Aiden did some graffiti the other night and when Will had seen beams of flashlights out of the corner of his eye, he’d known he'd need to find a way to convince the cops not to charge them. Will's thoughts race now as they had then. He has the feeling of remembering too late how he’d noticed Aiden covering up more at home and hiding away from their dad more than usual. Will had been too busy at the time actually dealing with their dad to concern himself with Aiden preferring not to go shirtless.<br/><br/>His hand falls away and he opens his eyes. Aiden’s smile has faded slightly and Will wishes it would return. He can deal with Aiden’s little schemes and tricks just fine in comparison to whatever might manage to make Aiden’s smile wilt. He becomes even more concerned when <em>Aiden</em> takes the precaution to check over Will’s shoulder and make sure the hallway is clear.<br/><br/>“Aiden?” Will starts, afraid of where he knows it will end.<br/><br/>His little brother tucks in closer, curling his shoulders in until he might manage to hide behind Will’s body. He ducks his head down too as his hand reaches for the edge of his sweatshirt. Will thinks he should have noticed it was getting too warm for that. Aiden pulls up the fabric slowly but surely until Will can see that his little brother’s little belly has a round little curve.<br/><br/>Will grabs at Aiden’s wrist and pushes his sweatshirt back down again. “Dad’s going to <em>kill</em> you,” Will whispers as he checks again over his shoulder.<br/><br/>Aiden wrinkles his brow. “No, he won’t. He always wanted me to know how to defend myself,” he remarks. His expression regains some of its usual ease and smoothness when he looks up to Will and says, “Plus I have my big brother to protect me.”<br/><br/>The blood that pooled in Will’s belly might rush to his heart next and threaten to overflow to bursting. “Aiden–”<br/><br/>“Where would I be without my big brother?” Aiden muses as he smirks. “I could never have made it without you.”<br/><br/>Will scoffs. “That’s the truth.”<br/><br/>“Shouldn’t this baby have a brother?” Aiden asks and his smile shows his perfectly white little teeth. “Wouldn’t you have been sadder without me?”<br/><br/>Will smiles then at his mischief-making minx of a brother. He looks at Aiden with his wild hair, pure blue eyes, and perfect smile and thinks that without him he would be very sad indeed. He would have been lonely and, in his loneliness, left to only marinate in his misery. For all that Aiden’s hijinks might have been a headache, it gave Will's mind something to think about and his heart something to focus on. He could feel warmed by Aiden’s smiles and softened by the love of his brother.<br/><br/>Will weaves his fingers into the hair at the back of Aiden’s head and brings him close enough for their foreheads to rest against each other. He closes his eyes but can still feel himself smiling as he says, “You little manipulator.”<br/><br/>“Does that mean you’ll do it?” Aiden asks and Will can hear how <em>happy</em> he sounds.<br/><br/>“Maybe,” he answers, even though they both know he’s already agreed.<br/><br/>He lets go of Aiden’s hair and instead grips at his shoulder. Will has him within arm’s reach as he looks Aiden up and down, trying to piece together everything in his head. Aiden simply watches him as he waits – the same way he always does when he’s created the situation where Will has to devise a new plan.<br/><br/>“Who did this to you?” Will asks when he’s figured out what he still doesn’t know.<br/><br/>Aiden hums. “Duncan.”<br/><br/>Will flinches and clenches his jaw. <em>“Duncan?”<br/></em><br/>Aiden’s nod finds punctuation in a quiet laugh. “At the party while you were making out with Molly.”<br/><br/>Will remembers that party. Aiden had <em>begged him</em> to let him go too. Will had planned to just sit on the back porch and drink a few beers with Duncan like they usually do. But then Molly had been there and had brought him a whiskey as soon as Will was in the door. The rest of the night after that was mostly a blur. Will doesn’t even remember Duncan being there.  <br/><br/>Will frowns as he says, “That was <em>months</em> ago.”<br/><br/>Aiden presses his hand to his middle over his sweatshirt. He smirks and <em>teases, </em>“I know.”<br/><br/>Will winces, thinking of how round that little belly had been – not a lot, but still <em>too much</em>. “All that time,” Will remarks. “And neither of you bothered to tell me.”<br/><br/>“You didn’t need to know,” Aiden says with a shrug. His hand is still so nonchalantly placed against his belly over his sweatshirt. “Until now. And now I’ve told you.”<br/><br/>Will huffs and grits his teeth. “And now <em>he’s</em> going to tell me.”<br/><br/>Will had already planned to go to Duncan’s after school. Aiden had plans to hang out with friends and Will doesn’t have any reason to force himself to be “home” if Aiden isn’t there. Duncan’s house is empty most of the time – other than Duncan, of course. When Will gets there, it’s just as quiet as Duncan himself. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Duncan wasn’t there. He wouldn’t be surprised if even one of Duncan’s neighbors was unaware that anyone lived there at all.<br/><br/>By now, Will and Duncan have left behind manners and things as quaint as ringing the doorbell. He walks through the front door and might even slam it too hard when he closes it. He knows the way back to Duncan’s room, which is where they’ve hung out most of the time even though, without temperamental parents or nosy siblings, nothing really would keep them from spending time anywhere else in the house.<br/><br/>Duncan’s lying on his bed reading the book for their AP English class. He looks to be already halfway through it despite only needing to have read the first two chapters so far. His arm is propped up against the headboard in a way that has the strength of his bicep and forearm casually framing his head. Will wouldn’t usually notice that. Duncan usually wears dark-colored things with long sleeves.  <br/><br/>“Duncan,” Will greets as he sits on the bed too. He doesn’t fish a book from his bag and instead sets it on the floor by his feet. <br/><br/>“Will,” Duncan replies as he sets the open book facedown on his chest. His empty hand then brushes back the dark hair that’s fallen in front of his eyes.<br/><br/>“Aiden told me a funny story today,” Will starts. “Do you want to hear it?”<br/><br/>Duncan hums rather neutrally. Duncan’s nothing if not a patiently listening ear. He offers quiet company regardless of whether Will has anything to say or not. <br/><br/>“It was about that party we went to,” Will continues, studying Duncan’s face for any reaction. “I shouldn’t have agreed to let him go. You know how good he is at getting into trouble.”<br/><br/>Duncan is familiar with many of Aiden’s hijinks. Seeing as they’re a frequent occurrence, that makes them a frequent topic of Will's conversations. Will hasn’t had anyone else really to talk to about them – no one to gripe or complain to without concern for judgment or consequences. Will learned the hard way at the last school they attended that he needed to be careful about that.<br/><br/>Duncan’s expression is just as inscrutable as ever <em>except</em> for the twitch of his lips.<br/><br/>“You <em>do</em> know that, don’t you?” Will accuses, leaning forward to brace his hands against his knees and locking his elbows.<br/><br/>“Will,” Duncan says as he starts to push himself towards sitting up.<br/><br/>“My best friend and my little brother keeping secrets,” Will says with one quick, bitter laugh. He shakes his head slightly to ease the clench in his jaw. “The ones I’m meant to trust the most of anyone.”<br/><br/>“I’m not good at talking,” Duncan says as he scratches at the stubble on his cheek. Will knows he’s still getting used to the itch of it.<br/><br/>“You can talk just fine,” Will counters. “When you <em>want </em>to.”<br/><br/>Duncan sits up even further to rest his elbows against his knees with both his forearms and calves crossed in front of him. His fingers hang and look to be missing something without a cigarette in between them. Duncan’s bangs fall into his eyes again as he tips his head down and states, “<em>Wanting</em> hasn’t been the problem.”<br/><br/>“Oh, <em>great</em>,” Will says, with a harshness that he realizes too late he might at some point regret. “What’s the problem?”<br/><br/>“I wanted to tell you about Aiden – about liking him, about <em>being with him</em>,” Duncan states. “I wanted to tell you about liking <em>you</em>.”<br/><br/>Will’s chest clenches for the second time in one day. This time, it feels like a bucket of ice water splashed on a flame, something like shock extinguishes the anger. There’s still smoke rising and a few embers might still smolder, but it’s not nearly so <em>red-hot</em>.<br/><br/>Will wrinkles his brow and licks his lips. <em>“What?”</em><br/><br/>Duncan pulls in a deep breath. It makes his chest and frame regain some of their power, but it’s gone again when he breathes out and might even leave behind deeper creases by his eyes. “I’ve wanted to kiss you,” he states, perhaps the closest Will’s ever heard Duncan come to something like a <em>confession</em>. “I knew I should ask first. But wasn’t sure I should ask you at all.”<br/><br/>Will scoots forward on the bed. Duncan’s eyes track him as he moves closer, but he doesn’t move. He stays still as stone even as Will drags his fingers along his forearm with one hand and touches the back of his head with the other. But, as soon as Will starts pulling Duncan forward to bring their lips together, Duncan follows where he’s led.  <br/><br/>Their mouths press together longer and harder with each kiss after the first one and Duncan loosens up a little bit with each one. His arms fall from his knees to instead touch his hands along Will’s sides. Every breath Will manages to steal fills his lungs and into the hold of Duncan’s fingers until those fingers might seem to fit themselves in the divots between Will's ribs. While Duncan might reach deeper into Will's ribcage where his heart throbs and pounds, Will’s hands grab and yank at Duncan’s shirt. He pulls the flimsy fabric over Duncan’s head and has it thrown on the floor in no time.<br/><br/>“You’ve wanted to kiss me so you fucked my brother?” Will asks breathlessly as Duncan’s hands follow suit and bunch in his shirt.<br/><br/>“I was drunk,” Duncan rasps as he pulls Will’s shirt over his head with a bit more care. “I thought he was you. And then I knew he wasn’t. And then I liked him.”<br/><br/>Will’s hands turn next to the button and zipper of Duncan’s pants. His fingers might fumble a little, but it’s all unfastened soon enough. His hand pushes past the layers of fabric just as quick. Duncan groans as Will palms his cock.<br/><br/>Will huffs a laugh and lines up his body along Duncan’s side as pleasure has Duncan stretching out. He looks down at how Duncan’s lips are just a bit redder from kissing and asks, “What was it you liked about him?”<br/><br/>“He was nice,” Duncan admits with another groan as Will gives his cock another stroke under his clothes. He grits his teeth this time as his head tips back ever so slightly.<br/><br/>“Am I being too rough?” Will asks. He sucks a kiss against Duncan’s throat – not enough to bruise and not with the press of teeth, <em>not yet</em>. He pulls his hand back even though he feels how Duncan’s lips twitch towards a wince in protest of the absence. “Do you wish I would be soft like him?”<br/><br/>“No,” Duncan answers, looking at Will with eyelids made heavy by pleasure. There might be a dusting of a blush on those cheekbones that have only stood out more and more the longer Will’s known him. He takes hold of Will’s wrist in one of his hands – not aggressive, but certain – as he remarks, “Then you wouldn’t be you.”<br/><br/>Will smirks and huffs another laugh as he easily to pulls his wrist from Duncan’s hold. “Aiden brought out your sweet-talking, did he?” he teases. “You certainly know what to say now.”<br/><br/>Will wraps his fingers around the waistband of Duncan’s jeans at his hips and Duncan raises his hips to help Will not have to yank quite so hard. Will might blush himself when he peels off his own jeans and Duncan's digging in his bedside drawer has him twisting and showing Will a bit of his ass. Duncan fishes out a little thing of lube and squirts some of it into his palm to rub at his cock and, while Duncan touches himself, Will does too. Will presses in one finger and then two, crooking them and rubbing, getting lost a little in the curiosity of still figuring out what it is that he likes best.<br/><br/>But Will isn’t here just to get himself off.<br/><br/>He lifts up on his knees to swing one leg over and straddle Duncan’s hips. Duncan’s hands drag up along Will’s thighs as Will takes his cock in hand again and presses the head of it to his hole. Will lets himself sink down until his ass is in Duncan’s lap and he’s as full as he can get. The feeling of having Duncan’s cock bare and filling him has breaths stuttering from his chest seemingly out of his control. The thing that might seem to be most within his control is the flex his hole and shift of his hips and how they are done with another surge of pleasured curiosity.<br/><br/>But Will isn’t here to content himself with only this.<br/><br/>He raises up and sinks down again, pulling a moan from his own throat as one is pulled from Duncan too. Will drags his fingernails against hair that’s sprinkled across his chest. When Will sinks down as far as he can again, he feels <em>so</em> <em>open</em> and yet somehow also <em>so full</em>. The sensations war with each other as recklessness wars against forethought.<br/><br/>Will grits his teeth and tips his head back. “While we’re sharing secrets,” he says as he gasps for air. “I should tell you that you <em>knocked him up</em>.”<br/><br/>Duncan’s hands at Will’s hips grip <em>harder</em>, stilling the movement and holding him in place. Will’s hair falls in his eyes when he looks down, but he can still see how Duncan looks at him, eyes wide and pupils blown wider.<br/><br/>“Don’t get <em>responsible</em> on me now,” Will taunts with a flex of his hole around a bare cock that is <em>entirely</em> <em>intentional.</em> “You like us both, don’t you?”<br/><br/>Will’s fingers wrap around Duncan’s and all too easily wriggle their way underneath. Duncan’s sure, tight grip sure is easy to dislodge and maneuver. Will is simply able to loosen those fingers and intertwine them with his own. He presses their interlaced hands against the mattress on either side of Duncan’s head.<br/><br/>They both groan as Will leans all the way over, pressed belly to belly and Will’s mouth right by his ear. He squeezes both his hole and his hands as he whispers, <em>“Two for one.”</em><br/><br/>In a flash, Duncan has wrenched away his hands and rolled them over. The motion knocks a laugh from Will’s chest when he lands on his back. Duncan bends his knees and his hips thrust with abandon. Will might feel the powerful clench and release of Duncan's thighs against the backs of Will's, which have been spread wide open and became welcoming. <br/><br/>“Did you have him on his back? Or was it from behind?” Will asks, words coming out breathless and choppy with the pound of his heart and thrust of Duncan’s hips. He wraps his arms around Duncan’s shoulders to feel the shifting muscles of his back. “Is that what you did when you took my brother’s body for your own?”<br/><br/>Duncan’s hips stutter with pure impulse and no rhythm. Will loosens his arms enough to get his mouth at Duncan’s throat. “You’re not taking my body though,” Will tells him, pressing the promise against Duncan's sweat-damp skin. “I’m taking from <em>you</em>. You’re going to give it to me, aren’t you? Would you <em>like</em> that?”<br/><br/><em>“Yes,” </em>Duncan grunts. The sound resonates out from his chest and the slap of their skin sounds out even louder.<br/><br/>“Good,” Will gasps, closing his eyes one last time as he feels The Moment coming. This Moment is when a decision is confirmed – a <em>stupid</em>, <em>shortsighted</em>, <em>immature</em> decision. But he can only tell the truth when he admits, “Me too.”<br/><br/>When Duncan spills inside of him, Will’s gasp holds less indulgent pleasure and instead has something more like a crude awakening. It surges through him and shakes his muscles until Will trembles down to his bones. His head rushes with a surreal, pleasured wooziness as Duncan spills and the pact has a seal.<br/><br/>Even if he’s not pregnant now, he knows he will be.<br/><br/>“You’re part of our pact now, you know,” Will says, feeling the weight of Duncan slumped against his body and between his legs.<br/><br/>Duncan’s chest fills and collapses against Will’s as he catches his breath. “Can’t say I regret it,” he says with a voice made even rougher than usual.  <br/><br/>“Not yet,” Will says, thinking of all the hardship in their future.<br/><br/>But, at the same time, he can’t say anything has ever been easy. It’s not as if they’re ruining an otherwise idyllic childhood and their dad has hardly given them any reason to think the future would be any different. The only thing Will knows for sure has been in his past, is still in his present, and will be in his future is <em>Aiden.</em><br/><br/> “It’s because I love him that I’m doing this,” Will confesses.<br/><br/>Duncan hums. He probably knew. There’s very little Will does that doesn’t somehow have to do with his love for his brother. It’s only then that Will wonders why <em>Duncan’s</em> doing it and this is the moment when Will understands having things he <em>wants</em> to say but doesn’t know if he should.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Will drags the back of his hand against his lips. It won’t change a thing. His mouth still tastes sharp and stale at once. He needs to start bringing a toothbrush to school, but there’s something different about having a toothbrush at the ready and having a few spare mints in his locker. As he enters the combination into the lock on his locker, he tells himself that the exhaustion that blurs his mind isn’t any different from the one that comes with the stress of keeping up with Aiden and their dad.<br/>
<br/>
He pops a mint into his mouth and, for a moment, he thinks he might be sick again. He takes a deep breath – <em>but not too deep</em> – and wills the wave of sickness to go away instead of building any further. His sigh of relief passes through his lips without incident and the mint starts to cool the burn of acid. The remaining couple of mints clatter in the container as he sets it back in the bottom of his locker.<br/>
<br/>
The locker door swings closed and there down the hall are Aiden and Duncan. Will has seen them together more and more and he can’t quite be sure whether he simply never noticed it before he was told or it’s actually something new. Was it always there and he’s only just now started to pay attention? Did he miss all the lingering glances anytime Aiden tagged along?<br/>
<br/>
At night, when Aiden’s gone to bed and their dad is passed out in his chair, Will wonders. He imagines Aiden curled in his bed around his belly and thinks of the night that baby was conceived. Duncan would be blurry with the combination of liquor and beer and, when he turned around, that blur might make Will and Aiden identical. Duncan might think it was Will and then when sweet, easy words came from those lips, he would know better.<br/>
<br/>
Aiden would be <em>so pleased</em> with the idea of fooling around with his big brother’s best friend. Aiden is starry-eyed and has a flair for the dramatic. Will’s cheeks flush slightly with his imaginations of how that would feel. Will imagines it to be the perfect combination of something forbidden and something safe.<br/>
<br/>
Seeing Aiden and Duncan in school, in the light of day, it loses some of its dreamy quality – at least for Will. Aiden might still have the glimmer in his eyes; Will might be able to see it even from down the hallway. Aiden smiles as he and Duncan talk – or as <em>Aiden</em> talks and Duncan nods or shrugs to show he’s listening. Aiden doesn’t seem to mind carrying on the conversation. Maybe they really are star-crossed lovers.  <br/>
<br/>
<em>What does a brother mean to star-crossed lovers?</em><br/>
<br/>
Will turns away down the hallway and wonders if they notice. It’s strange that how doing things that might bring them closer has made Will feel as far away as ever – if not <em>more</em>. Just like he told Duncan, he tells himself he’s doing this out of love for his brother. Now, Will fears that there’s no way to prevent the inevitable, no way to keep Aiden and their love close together. Maybe it’s practice for him as a parent to have to let Aiden go…<br/>
<br/>
Will spends a piece of each day with Duncan – he’s wedged it tightly in between his many other responsibilities. After school and in between picking up Aiden, he can manage to go to Duncan’s for an hour or so. He walks right back to Duncan’s room and isn’t bothered when Duncan’s not there. He climbs in bed and lies on his back looking up at the ceiling while he hears a toilet flush and water run in the sink. He doesn’t look away from the plain, white ceiling when Duncan comes in or when the mattress sinks with his body weight.<br/>
<br/>
It’s not that he’s ashamed.<br/>
<br/>
Will doesn’t have his excuse anymore. At some point, he’ll have to let Duncan go too. Duncan may have said he liked Will first but that doesn’t really mean anything, especially now that Duncan’s discovered how much easier Aiden is to like. Duncan said it himself: he’d thought Aiden was Will and then it hadn’t mattered that he wasn’t.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan lies back against the bed in just the same way that Will does. Duncan always gives the impression that he could be fine to wait for just about anything. When Will runs late meeting up with him, he never complains, never even mentions it. But Will doesn’t have time to waste. No matter how much he might want to close his eyes and drift to some much-needed sleep, he turns over to face Duncan.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan only turns his head. He might almost look as tired as Will does. Will hadn’t been close enough to see that before. He takes the time now to look in Duncan’s eyes and knows just how differently he sees him. When he leans over to kiss Duncan, there’s a comfort and ease to it that very little else seems to have. It might be the one thing Will could get used to if he had the chance.<br/>
<br/>
Their first time together may have been rough around the edges but when they press their lips together now, Will knows what Duncan will do. He knows how he will tup his head. He knows where Duncan will place his hands even before he feels the touch against his hip. Duncan turns his body and moves closer as he encourages Will to lie back again. It’s a simple give-and-take that Will might remember from their friendship before this. Maybe he’ll still have a piece of this when everything changes again.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan’s hand against his cheek comes next. Will flinches a bit in surprise when Duncan brushes his thumb under his eye. Duncan pulls back enough to murmur, “You look tired.”<br/>
<br/>
Will flinches a bit at that too. As quiet and passive as Duncan seems, Will can forget sometimes that when he looks at Duncan, Duncan’s <em>looking back</em>. “I have a lot to do,” Will dismisses and he leans back in – <em>no time or use for conversations.<br/>
</em><br/>
Duncan lets them kiss again. Will knows it. He knows it the way he knows when Duncan pulls away again. Will just sighs when it happens. Duncan brushes his thumb under Will’s eye just as he did before and there’s no denying how Duncan <em>looks back</em> and <em>sees</em>. “Maybe you should just get some rest,” he suggests.<br/>
<br/>
Will pulls away from the hand on his cheek and lets it hang in the open air as he looks up at the ceiling again. “I learned a long time ago that if you’re not going to do something for me, then don’t complain that I have too much to do and tell me not to do it.”<br/>
<br/>
Will has had far too many truly exhausting conversations about how tired and overworked he is. He’s had them with school counselors who frown and wrinkle their brows in sympathy but do <em>nothing</em> and offer him <em>nothing</em> in return. Sympathy doesn’t keep Aiden safe. Their dad has always shown himself to be immune to something as simple as <em>sympathy</em>.<br/>
<br/>
“I’ll do something,” Duncan offers like it’s easy. When his hand leaves its stasis in midair, he drops it slowly and carefully to Will’s middle. “Stay the night. Sleep. I’ll do your homework for you.”<br/>
<br/>
Will wishes he would stop <em>flinching</em>. His dad would be disappointed to know that’s still possible. He doesn’t flinch when a fist comes at him anymore, but it seems not all pain can be dodged or evaded. Even if he were to wriggle away from Duncan’s touch, there’s no wriggling away from how Duncan’s touch has changed him.<br/>
<br/>
Will inhales through his nose and the exhale that leaves his mouth is shakier than he would like. His voice wobbles when he means it to be stern as he asks, “Is that what you do for Aiden?”<br/>
<br/>
Duncan hums and answers, “Aiden doesn’t stress himself over homework.”<br/>
<br/>
“That’s true,” Will says with a laugh; it’s wet and thick in his throat. “He’s the reason I can’t stay. Aiden can’t be home when I’m not there.”<br/>
<br/>
“Where is he now?”<br/>
<br/>
“With Vivian probably,” Will answers and then tilts his eyes to look over at Duncan and adds, “Don’t worry, they’re not together anymore.”<br/>
<br/>
“I know.”<br/>
<br/>
“That’s right,” Will says and looks up again so that he might be able to blink back some <em>traitorous</em> tears. “You do.”<br/>
<br/>
Duncan’s hand is still heavy on his middle – <em>maybe heavier by the second.</em> He doesn’t move at all, just keeps it there. “If I go pick him up, you’ll stay here?”<br/>
<br/>
Will clenches his jaw and grinds his teeth. “He’s my responsibility.”<br/>
<br/>
“He’s <em>our</em> responsibility,” Duncan reminds him. “He should be safe.”<br/>
<br/>
“He should,” Will agrees and reminds himself that Aiden deserves all the support he can get and Duncan <em>should</em> do his part to take care of him and their baby. Aiden also wouldn’t like it if Will drove Duncan away. Still, Will imagines the scene from the hallway and imaginations resurface with visions of Duncan and Aiden together in bed while Will sleeps on the couch. “I’ll be in your way.”<br/>
<br/>
“You won’t,” Duncan states.  “I’ll call him.”<br/>
<br/>
Duncan pulls his hand away to dig in his pocket. He pulls out his phone and the screen casts light across his face as his thumb clicks and flicks against it. Will watches and listens as Duncan raises the phone to his ear and it rings. The conversation is short and quick. Duncan isn’t exactly <em>chatty</em>. He simply tells Aiden he’ll pick him up and asks for Vivian’s address. When Duncan has to get out of bed to search for a pen and piece of paper, Will thinks he could have just written it down for him.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan hangs up the phone and shoves it in his pocket alongside the piece of paper and his keys. “Take a nap,” he tells Will. “I’m going to go get him.”<br/>
<br/>
Will isn’t sure he likes it, but the tiredness that makes his muscles ache tells him there’s no point in trying to insist. He lets Duncan go and might fall asleep before he’s even left the house. He might sleep so deeply that he’s gone beyond dreams – or nightmares. All he knows is Duncan was on his way out and then Aiden is there smiling at him.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Aiden says from where he sits beside Will on the bed.<br/>
<br/>
Will scoffs. “Hey,” he says as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. “How was Vivian?”<br/>
<br/>
“Fine,” Aiden says with a roll of his eyes. He braces his hands on the mattress and swings his leg over Will’s to lie down smackdab in the middle of the bed. “She’s been bugging me about keeping secrets like <em>she’s</em> never had them.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden yanks his sweatshirt up his chest and places his hand against the curve that’s still fairly little – <em>but not for much longer</em>. Aiden smooths his hand across the curve with a smile on his face and then when he catches Will looking, he smiles more. Aiden scoots over to press his cheek to Will’s shoulder and his hand to Will’s middle just like Duncan had.<br/>
<br/>
“Are you happy?” Aiden asks.<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know,” Will answers with a sigh.<br/>
<br/>
He can’t pretend this pregnancy was an accident. If he hadn’t wanted it to be this way, he had every opportunity to ensure it was not so – and, in fact, did the <em>opposite</em>. But as his sickness has lasted and <em>lasted</em>, the weight of the responsibility and the reality has settled deep within. He doesn’t look any different but can <em>feel</em> how his life will never be the same.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m happy,” Aiden says. “For what it’s worth.”<br/>
<br/>
Will hums and lifts his own hand to cup Aiden’s cheek. “It’s worth everything,” he says as he smooths his thumb across Aiden’s cheekbone. “You know that.”<br/>
<br/>
Duncan walks into the room and sits down at the end of the bed – <em>his bed</em> – by their feet. Aiden wiggles his toes in his socks and nudges Duncan’s hand on the comforter until Duncan takes hold of Aiden’s toes to stop their wiggling.<br/>
<br/>
Aiden laughs. “Duncan’s happy too, aren’t you?”<br/>
<br/>
“Of course,” Duncan says like it’s easy, but Will notices he doesn’t smile. He hardly ever does.  <br/>
<br/>
Aiden sighs and rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you two supposed to be older and wiser?”<br/>
<br/>
“More like the older you are the more you worry,” Will remarks and he knows the wry smile on his face is one that matches Duncan’s. As best friends, there <em>have</em> been things they’ve shared with each other before all of this. They’ve both talked about things that have made them grow up too fast and too soon. It’s Will’s turn to place his hand on Aiden’s little, bare belly. “You’ll understand that soon enough.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden smiles. Maybe he’ll make it through this with some innocence and hope left and show the two of them that it can be done. He places his hand over Will’s and wiggles his toes again and says, “Well, it’s good that we’ll all do this together then, isn’t it?”<br/>
<br/>
Will hums and though Aiden’s smile warms him as much as ever, he still finds it difficult to match.<br/>
<br/>
Aiden turns on his side and props his head on his hand instead of Will’s shoulder. His brow wrinkles. “What’s that?”<br/>
<br/>
“Nothing.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden rolls his eyes. “Now you’re just setting a bad example.”<br/>
<br/>
“I guess,” Will starts, then bites his lip and hesitates. It has seemed that saying it aloud would introduce too many possibilities for something to go wrong. Therefore, it has seemed better to keep it to himself, particularly when he hasn’t known if he wanted anyone to notice – might not even now. “I guess I just wish I had what you all have.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden brushes Will’s hair from his forehead with the touch of one, single finger. “You can.”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t,” Will says with the shake of his head and the furrow of his brow. “I can’t.”<br/>
<br/>
“Why not?” Aiden asks, so curious and innocent, like anything is possible. “Duncan, do you want to be with Will?”<br/>
<br/>
“Aiden—” both Will and Duncan start to say at once and with equal wariness.<br/>
<br/>
Aiden continues undeterred – <em>as always</em> – and he looks at Duncan when he asks again, “Do you?”<br/>
<br/>
When Duncan looks at Will, his eyes are partially covered by the dark hair that falls and hangs there. He doesn’t blink as he says, “Yes.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden hums and nods. “Do you want to be with me?”<br/>
<br/>
Duncan’s eyes flick between Will and Aiden as he once again says, “Yes.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden turns back to Will and asks him, “Do you remember when you taught me to share?”<br/>
<br/>
Will remembers walking and <em>walking</em> to get to a neighborhood where they might safely Trick-or-Treat. Will hadn’t even had a costume, but Aiden had. At every house, someone had fawned and praised Aiden for his little wolf outfit with a tail Will made from cardboard and Aiden scribbled on. Aiden was given extra candy with a wink and another comment about how cute he looked. Will had forgotten to even hold out his pillowcase.<br/>
<br/>
When they got home, Aiden had a <em>huge pile</em> that he could sort into different kinds and brands and sizes. He babbled on and on about hiding it all away in the drawers so their dad wouldn’t know. He lorded over that candy like a dragon might treasure and Will hadn’t wanted to deprive him of any of it. He watched Aiden eat one piece after dinner every night – <em>maybe two</em>. One night, Aiden had put a <em>100 Grand</em> bar in Will’s hand with a smile and said, <em>“I know it’s your favorite</em>.”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t remember it as me teaching you,” Will recalls.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, you did. You taught me that sharing isn’t just about being asked to,” Aiden tells him and then looks back towards the end of the bed. “Duncan?”<br/>
<br/>
“I’ve never had anyone to share with,” Duncan says. It’s a solemn confession but his lips might twitch <em>ever so slightly</em> towards a smile. “It sounds nice.”<br/>
<br/>
“Then it’s settled,” Aiden says, holding out his hand to Duncan, not like a handshake but to beckon him. He has to gesture with his hand a few times before Duncan shifts to lie down by his side. Aiden takes Duncan’s hand and puts it on his own belly and then put his own hand back on Will’s. He looks up at Will from under his lashes, raises one teasing brow, and asks, “You’ll stop running away now?”<br/>
<br/>
Will gives a laugh. “I’ll try.”<br/>
<br/>
“Good,” Aiden replies. He takes a moment for a breath and a few blinks of his eyes and then announces, “Duncan and I got food on the way. It’s probably cold by now though.”<br/>
<br/>
At the thought of cold food, nausea rolls through Will again. Spit pools in his mouth as he tries not to think of how mushy and unappetizing cold fries would be. Will presses the back of his hand against his mouth and swallows. He closes his eyes and takes a chance on saying the words, <em>“Go away.”</em><br/>
<br/>
Aiden laughs light-heartedly and pushes himself to sit upright. He uses his hands and feet to scoot to the end of the bed and then walks out of the room towards where Will knows the kitchen is. Once Will and Duncan have watched him go and silence has set in, Duncan looks over at him, touches his shoulder, and says, “I’ll bring you some crackers.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The button slips through the hole but <em>just barely</em>. The waistband of his jeans dig into his hips in ways he knows from experience will leave behind reddened divots. He steals a glance at his closed bedroom door. <br/><br/>The sound of Aiden’s footsteps seems to change by the day, but still they are distinctly his own. Will can hear the shuffle from tiredness and the wobble of unfamiliar weight. Hearing no heavy, drunken thundering, Will chances pushing up the bottom hem of his plaid button-up. The shirt is a big enough size and his belly a small enough one that <em>those</em> buttons aren’t yet straining. They will. With time. <br/><br/>A year has passed since his last birthday and time means something different this time around. <br/><br/>Just like last year on his birthday, when Will goes downstairs, his dad is passed out in his chair with a few empty beer bottles and a half-empty bottle of whiskey, which has only been left <em>half-empty</em> because his dad actually managed to screw the lid back on this time. Whether or not it’s Will’s birthday, it’s best if Dad stays asleep until they leave for school. The best birthday gift he could give Will would be choosing to hibernate for the day. As it is, the best Will can hope for is his dad staying out late. <br/><br/>Will puts the last of his things in his backpack. He hasn’t wanted to tempt fate yet by having breakfast, so he shoves an extra granola bar in the front pocket for later. He startles for a moment when arms snake underneath his and wrap around his waist. But then there’s a nose nuzzling into the middle of his back and Will sighs quietly in relief. <br/><br/>“Happy birthday, big brother,” Aiden whispers. Will feels the vibrations of the words against his back as much as he can hear it. <br/><br/>“Thank you,” he whispers in return as he pats his little brother’s hands where his fingers lace together over Will’s belly. He cranes his neck to whisper again, “Are you ready to go?”<br/><br/>“Yes—” Aiden says quickly, then hesitates and shakes his head, rubbing his forehead against the space between his shoulder blades. Aiden’s hands disappear as quickly as they appeared and by the time Will turns around, Aiden’s brushing his hand through his hair and saying, “Wait, no, I forgot something.”<br/><br/>Aiden turns on his heels and, as he does, Will gets a view of him from many angles. The weather has only gotten warmer and warmer and that has made Aiden’s choice in clothing less and less careful. Now that the weather no longer encourages or favors bulky sweatshirts and layers, Aiden seems less inclined to wear them. To Will’s eye, there’s only one thin layer in the form of a long sleeve, likely-cotton shirt and the front only stretches tighter and tighter when Aiden’s belly has nowhere to grow but out.<br/><br/>“Grab another one of my shirts while you’re up there,” Will instructs. “And hurry up.”<br/><br/>Aiden’s feet hit the stairs a little harder and a little louder than Will would like and his eyes blink back towards his dad. Dad’s mouth still hangs open wide surrounded by an unkempt mess of stubble that’s probably at least a week old. It’s been about as long since his last haircut, which is Will simply shaving it as short as it had been during his Army Ranger days. <br/><br/>Aiden comes back downstairs with another of Will’s plaid shirts, a combination of green, blue, and white stripes running through the flannel. Will doesn’t take it even as Aiden holds it out for him. He just picks up his backpack by one strap and throws it over his shoulder. He picks up Aiden’s too by the handle at the top and turns to quietly make his way out of the place that’s supposed to be his home. <br/><br/>Aiden tries to give him the shirt again once they’re sat in Will’s car. He holds it out for Will again, but Will only shakes his head. “That’s for you,” Will tells him as he turns the key in the ignition. He turns his head to look behind him as he backs out of the driveway. “You need to cover up.”<br/><br/>Aiden frowns and furrows his brow. His hand smooths across where the seatbelt curves around the lower edge of his belly. “It’s too hot.”<br/><br/>Will laughs – even though the air in the car <em>is</em> stuffy and sweat threatens to gather around the collar of his shirt and under his arms. He turns the crank to roll down his window to let some fresh air in. “You should have thought of that before you got knocked up.”<br/><br/>Aiden huffs – a laugh <em>and</em> a retort. “What’s your excuse?”<br/><br/>Will hums and brushes his hair away from where the wind makes it whip against his forehead. A rush of air through the open window chokes at his throat and he has to intentionally fight for another breath. He touches a hand to his sternum as he coughs and then it trails downward…<br/><br/>“I do what has to be done,” Will says, “if you remember.”<br/><br/>“Fine,” Aiden sighs. As they turn down the winding roads that will bring them to school, Aiden unbuttons each button. Once it’s safe to undo his seatbelt, he slips his arms into the sleeves. With the car parked, Will waits and watches as Aiden does the buttons up again starting with the second button that sits just below the notch at the base of his throat. Aiden rolls his eyes in an exaggerated, teasing sort of way as he says, “But just for today because it’s your birthday.”<br/><br/>When they both climb out of the car and head towards the great, gray monstrosity that is their school building, Will sees how his shirt sits on Aiden’s frame. Where the hem might usually lay relatively flat, it hangs out and away from Aiden’s body, leaving every opportunity for the wind to sweep up underneath it. <br/><br/>Aiden looks back at him with his usual charming little smile. “Are you going to Duncan’s house after school?”<br/><br/>“I was thinking about it.”<br/><br/>Since the day of his nap, Duncan’s place has felt like the place where he might get the calmest sleep he could hope for – still not perfectly settled, but he can at least feel <em>okay</em> closing his eyes for a little while. <br/><br/><em>A birthday nap.</em> <em>Is he eighteen or eighty?<br/></em><br/>Aiden loops one of his arms around one of Will’s. His eyes are big and blue as he blinks up and asks, “Can I go with you?”<br/><br/>Aiden was at Duncan’s house last night in all likelihood. Beverly and Molly had bugged Will at lunch to go out with them after school and Will had only been convinced when Aiden announced he had his own plans away from home. That’s how he knows Aiden’s ask for permission is for Will’s benefit only. Still, Will says <em>sure</em> and is rewarded with a smile. <br/><br/>Satisfied with getting what he’d wanted, Aiden pulls away to head towards the part of the school where the sophomores’ lockers are. As he turns down the hall, Will’s shirt sways again where it hangs on Aiden and Will feels a tug at his heart. <br/><br/>He’s offered a distraction when Molly walks up just as Aiden’s walked away. “Happy birthday, Will,” she says, even though she’d already said it the night before when she’d tried to hold his hand. <br/><br/>There was a time when holding hands with Molly would have been what he wished for if he had candles to blow out on a birthday cake. That’s another way time seems almost <em>funny</em> now. It’s been about four months since he made out with Molly at the party and Will had been interested in her for a while before that. In all that time, nothing has changed about Molly but it feels like <em>so much</em> has changed about Will.<br/><br/>“Thank you, Molly,” he says with the same tilted smile as the one he’d given her the night before. He pats her on the shoulder like he’d done then too. <br/><br/>“What does it feel like to be <em>legally</em> an adult?” She asks as her wheat-colored bangs fall just a little too far in front of her eyes. She reaches up to brush at them with their fingers, but they fall back just the same. She smirks nonetheless as she questions further,  “Do you feel older and wiser?”<br/><br/>“Not at all,” Will replies with a scoff. “I feel no particular desire to buy a lottery ticket or smoke a cigarette.”<br/><br/><em>He’s already gambling enough and he couldn’t smoke now anyway.<br/></em><br/>“You’re not fooling anybody,” Molly teases him further. “I know you’ve been counting down to this day for a long time.”<br/><br/>Will sighs and his cheek twitches up at one side. “I’m glad it’d be that much harder for Aiden and I to get separated,” he admits. “The threat of <em>‘the system’</em> has been there as long as I can remember.”<br/><br/>“You’re a very sweet man,” Molly admires. She touches her hand to his shoulder, much more soft and kind than his pat had been. “It’s costing you too, I know that. I’m here.”<br/><br/>“Thanks, Molly,” he says honestly. It’s Molly’s easy kindness that he’s always admired. His crush on her might have faded but that does nothing to impact how he sees her strengths. “I’ll see you later in History.”<br/><br/>The rest of Will’s school day is largely like any other. Not many know it’s his birthday so they wouldn’t think to treat him any different. He doesn’t expect them to – might not even be sure if he would want them to anyhow. With Will keeping an eye on who has their eyes on him, he finds that so often when he blinks towards Duncan, Duncan’s already looking at him.<br/><br/>It happens during their first class together where they have assigned seats and <em>Graham</em> is a long way away from <em>Vizla</em>. As such, Will only sees it when he’s walking back from the blackboard. Duncan watches him the whole way and Will might retroactively remember feeling Duncan’s eyes gazing at the back of his head.<br/><br/>During lunch, they can sit in the far corner of the cafeteria together like they have for the last three years. Will looks between his food and Duncan but never sees Duncan look down. It should be off-putting to have such close and consistent attention. But it’s not. Will’s brow is furrowed by the time lunch ends from trying to figure out <em>why</em>. <br/><br/>In their last class together for the day, they can sit wherever they want and so they sit next to each other like they have every class before this one so long as they were both at school. After taking one from the top, Will passes the stack of papers over to Duncan like a habit. It’s muscle memory that has him looking over too. It’s when muscle memory has him looking into Duncan’s eyes that he realizes maybe it’s always been this way…<br/><br/>Will smiles as he looks down at the packet of papers he’s meant to make sense of. It may be the first time he’s smiled at <em>Calculus</em>. The numbers on the page might smooth out that smile by the time the last bell rings, but then he can at least sigh in relief at the school day being <em>over</em>. Aiden makes himself easy to find, thankfully, and doesn’t linger to chat with his friends or make Will have to even ask <em>once</em> if he's ready to leave. Aiden simply waves goodbye to Vivian and picks up his pace to walk alongside Will and Duncan. <br/><br/>They leave school the same way they arrived there – which is to say Duncan drives on his own and Will takes Aiden – even though they’ll be going to the same place. Duncan parks his car in the driveway and Will parks a little way down the street. Will and Aiden both bring their backpacks in with them – and drop them on the floor at the foot of Duncan’s bed as soon as they’ve entered the room. <br/><br/>They both fall back against the bed to stare up at the ceiling, but Aiden gets bored of the silence and the staring more quickly than Will does. He turns over and props his elbow on the bed and then his cheek against his curled fist. “I wish our babies could have the same birthday,” he announces.<br/><br/>Will laughs and rolls his eyes. “No, you don’t.”<br/><br/>“Yes, I do,” Aiden teases and laughs too. <br/><br/>Duncan’s rasping voice comes from the doorway. “They deserve to each have their own day to be celebrated.”<br/><br/>Aiden pushes himself to sit upright and then leans over further to unzip his backpack and fumble inside one of the pockets. Will sits up much more slowly and, for once, when he looks at Duncan, Duncan’s not looking back. Instead, Duncan directs his eyes towards a slightly lumpy, slightly lopsided, two-tiered, chocolate-iced cake. Aiden pops a candle on top. He also takes the forks from Duncan’s hand so that Duncan can carefully balance the cake in one hand while he reaches into his pocket and pulls out one of his many lighters. <br/><br/>Duncan flicks the lighter with ease and lights the candle. The softest glow is cast against his face and Will scoots to the end of the bed so that he might see it better. Aiden sits down next to him and watches with a smile as Duncan very nearly sets the cake in Will’s lap. <br/><br/>“Make a wish, Will,” Aiden whispers in his ear, not muffled by a need to keep quiet but soft with affection. <br/><br/>Will closes his eyes and thinks of what he wants <em>most</em>. He thinks of the dreams he hasn’t risked having – dreams of a safe home full of love of every kind and with no fear to be found. He opens his eyes and looks to Aiden first and then Duncan before blowing out the candle’s fleeting, flickering flame.  <br/><br/>Aiden hugs his arms around Will’s waist and Will can feel the turn of his little brother’s cheek with a smile. “We bought one from the store too in case ours is awful,” he reassures. “But I told Duncan we should at least show you we <em>tried</em>.”<br/><br/>“It looks great,” Will says and it’s true. “Best cake I’ve ever had.”<br/><br/>Aiden holds out the hand that still clutches three forks. “Wait until you taste it.”<br/><br/>Will takes one of the offered forks, Aiden has one, and then Duncan takes the last of them. They don’t bother to do something like cut the cake to put slices on individual plates. They simply start at one corner of the square and work their way inward. The cake really isn’t half bad. It might be a bit too dry and he might wish Duncan had brought some milk with him. But Will eats bite after bite and knows he’s had his fill when the taste takes a turn towards <em>too sweet</em>.<br/><br/>His fork clatters slightly as he sets it aside on the plate. Duncan’s fork soon joins his and Aiden’s sweet tooth lasts a little longer, but even he gives in. Duncan sets the cake aside on his desk to be dealt with later. <br/><br/>“What do you want for your birthday, Will?” Aiden asks as he still licks some of the icing from the corner of his lips. “You’re impossible to buy gifts for. Especially when booze is off the table.”<br/><br/>He looks at his little brother with his wild curls and his bright smile – glad as always to have Aiden by his side. “You don’t have to give me anything.”<br/><br/>“I don’t <em>have to</em>,” Aiden teases as he tips his chin down to better blink up from under his long eyelashes. “I <em>want to</em>.”<br/><br/>Will watches as Aiden drops his hand to scratch across a few lines of plaid that drape around Aiden’s <em>not-so-little</em> belly. The catch of Aiden’s fingernail against the outer edge of a button tells Will all he needs to know that those buttons will be undone now that Aiden has reason to remember they’re there for him to undo.  <br/><br/>“Wear Duncan’s clothes,” Will says.<br/><br/>Aiden furrows his brow, frowns, and twitches his nose. “What?”<br/><br/>Aiden’s fingers pause having unbuttoned the bottom two buttons already. Those fingers slip between the overlap and the next button slips into the V of fingers. Already, Will can see through the parting of his shirt and sees how the shirt underneath has ridden up to expose skin to air and wandering eyes. Will’s fingers want to wander too, but he clenches his hand into a fist instead.<br/><br/>“Mine are too small on you too,” Will explains.<br/><br/>“I’ll be cooked alive,” Aiden complains with a sigh and his fingers resume their trek along the buttons. He rolls his eyes when he’s only got one left. “Won’t people be just as likely to know what’s going on if I start wearing super baggy clothes all the time?”<br/><br/>Duncan hums and rasps, “Not really.”<br/><br/>Duncan stands up, pulls open one of his drawers, grabs a mound of black fabric, and then reaches for his black jean jacket that’s hanging on the back of a chair. He sits down on the bed next to Aiden and holds out his handfuls of clothes. <br/><br/>“People know you’d be the type to wear a boyfriend’s clothes to school,” Will states as he watches Aiden smirk at Duncan and inspect what he’s been given: Duncan’s favorite sweater, his second favorite sweatshirt, and, of course, the jacket. Will can see mischief in his little brother’s eyes. “Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t enjoy people seeing you’ve staked your claim.”<br/><br/>Aiden is the type that would wear his boyfriend’s letterman jacket. He’s the type that would wear his cheerleading outfit until the seams burst. The only reason he’s <em>not</em> doing that is because their dad would never splurge on something so <em>frivolous</em> as <em>cheerleading</em>. Their dad hardly pays enough attention to football games to retain any awareness of the existence of cheerleaders at all.<br/><br/>Aiden takes off his shirt – <em>Will’s shirt</em> – and lets it just fall in a heap on the bed. “If I was that type, wouldn’t I also be the type to show off some hickeys?” he suggests as he turns his pretty blue eyes up at Duncan. “Just to make it more convincing.”<br/><br/>Duncan hums. “Is that all?” <br/><br/>Aiden hums back, though his is a little better at feigning curiousness. “For now.”<br/><br/>When Aiden tips his head to show more of his throat, Duncan’s eyes flicker over to Will, who for his part doesn’t dare move a muscle, not even a twitch of his cheek. Will doesn’t know whether to nod or frown or smile. So he does nothing at all. Duncan seems to take that as a lack of objection. That was probably a safe assumption to make. Will doesn’t have any objections – at least, not at first. <br/><br/>Will watches as Duncan and Aiden both turn towards each other until all Will can see is the back of Duncan’s head and the side of Aiden’s face. He sees the flush of Aiden’s cheeks and the way Aiden’s fingers weave through the back of Duncan’s hair. The muscles in Duncan’s arms tense with how he holds himself so he doesn’t put too much weight on Aiden, whose pleasured hum turns into a soft moan. <br/><br/>Will is glad that their babies won’t have the same birthday. If those babies have to compete for attention, he’d have a lot of empathy for the one that loses. <br/><br/>Will shifts towards the edge of the bed and he feels like he might as well have shifted the whole mattress. When Duncan turns and shifts his weight, it seems like <em>nothing</em> in comparison. As soon as Will sees Aiden’s throat, there’s a bright red bruise standing out against his skin. Duncan has his head and body turned to do the same on the other side of Aiden’s neck. Even just seeing Duncan’s chin, Will still feels able to imagine the press of his lips and his teeth. He has memories to reference and fill in the blanks. When Aiden moans, Will wonders if that’s what he sounds like too. <br/><br/>Will turns away and looks at his partially eaten cake and tries to decide if he should take it with him when he leaves. Will feels a shifting of the mattress as Aiden gives another little <em>gasp</em>. A hand grabs Will’s wrist and he startles. The pounding of his heart makes sure he remembers just how hard it’s working. <br/><br/>Aiden’s cheeks are pink when Will looks back at him – not quite as vibrant as the marks on his throat. He licks across his lips and remarks, “I thought we said no more running away.”<br/><br/>Will wants to say that he wasn’t, but he was. What else he could have done, he even doesn’t know. He can only admit: “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I stay.”<br/><br/>“Whatever you want,” Aiden says like it’s so simple, like he’s never hesitated to know what he wants. “The only rules we should have are our own. What’s the point of having a rule if it doesn’t do anyone any good?”<br/><br/>“Of course you’d think that,” Will says with a laugh that feels normal and easy. “Rules have never mattered much to you.”<br/><br/>Will’s smile falters slightly as Aiden turns his fingers to the buttons of the shirt Will is wearing. Aiden starts at the last buttons just like he’d done for himself and even pauses like he had to slip fingers between layers of fabric to press against the barest hint of Will’s belly, accentuated slightly by how he sits hunched over.<br/><br/>“And look how things have turned out,” Aiden says with a smile.  <br/><br/>Aiden undoes the last of the buttons and lets the fabric of Will’s shirt fall in the same way as before. Then Aiden guides Duncan’s hand to the last button Will has to be undone. Duncan’s eyes are back on Will with the same persistent dedication as Will’s seen all day – but with a little more heat to it. <br/><br/>Aiden shifts higher on the mattress and Duncan moves closer in the space he left behind. He places his hand to grip at the back of Will’s neck. Duncan holds him steady enough as he kisses him to keep Will from toppling over when Aiden grabs at his shoulders. Aiden’s laugh is right there in Will’s ear and echoes in his skull even after the sound has faded. <br/><br/>The unfastening of Will’s fly has him sighing more deeply. As Duncan strips away his pants, socks, and shoes, Aiden’s hands on Will’s shoulders urge him to lean back until his hips are bracketed by Aiden’s knees and his shoulder blades might align with Aiden’s ribcage. Will takes care to avoid leaning too much against Aiden’s belly. <br/><br/>“Look,” Aiden murmurs and when Will looks down what he sees are the more very modest swell of his own belly and Duncan between his legs. <br/><br/>He clenches his jaw and curls his toes as his hole clenches in anticipation. A hushed whimper passes through his lips when he clenches around <em>nothing</em>. Aiden smooths a hand through the hair that hangs against Will’s forehead while Duncan’s slickened finger pushes against his hole. When Will gasps, he feels so open and receptive. There’s the press of one finger and then a second, but still it’s not enough. <br/><br/>Aiden keeps petting his fingers through Will’s hair and scratching his nails against his scalp as Duncan presses his cock in slow and <em>deep</em>. Aiden tsks his tongue kindly as Will whimpers and at how suddenly pleasure blooms. Will’s knees wobble as Duncan leans over him and he feels caught between the both of them. He wills his muscles to relax and stop their trembling as Duncan kisses him. <br/><br/>Will still hasn’t gotten used to the scratch of Duncan’s stubble. He doesn’t want to. The brush of it is pleasant and feels somehow like something special. The thrust of Duncan’s hips hits Will’s ass at the edge of the mattress and might seem to shake the whole bed. There’s power in the way Duncan creates such a ripple effect. Duncan kisses and he thrusts and, when Will’s gasp pulls his mouth too far away, Duncan kisses Aiden and just keeps <em>thrusting</em>.<br/><br/>Little hums and whines sound out amongst groans and grunts and Will’s gasps and whimpers might join in the clamor. Just when Will’s lips might feel lonely again, Duncan returns for another kiss and Aiden keeps petting his hair. Will’s breath catches in his chest as his pleasure builds and Aiden pets his hair as he says, “Breathe.”<br/><br/>Will pulls in breath after breath and each comes out paired with a staccato, huffing grunt. That is until something <em>gives</em> and his pleasure no longer seems to know anything like <em>restraint</em>. His muscles clench. His hole flexes as if instinctually milking Duncan and coxing him still to spill. <br/><br/><em>“Oh, fuck,”</em> Will gasps and then grits his teeth and clenches his jaw at the thought of how Duncan’s always given when Will’s wanted to take. <br/><br/>Aiden’s laugh is soft and breathy in his ear as he leans forward against Will’s back enough to reach his fingertips to touch Will’s belly. <br/><br/>“Happy birthday, big brother.”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Check the tags and I'll also put content warnings in the endnotes, so check there if it would be helpful.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>“You slut!”<br/></em><br/>Will bolts upright in bed before his mind has even had a chance to fully wake up. He throws the covers off and nearly trips over his own pant leg as he makes his way from his bed to his door as fast as he can. Once in the hallway, Will approaches a noise that can be ominous at best and is in reality most likely dangerous. Even so, he’s learned to run towards the pounding of a fist against a door that’s too flimsy – made from the scraps of wood, no true boards to offer a backbone. <br/><br/>He doesn’t have to go far. The house isn’t big. And Aiden’s room is kept close to his. Soon enough - but somehow still not <em>quick</em> enough - Will can put the noise with the cause he already knows to expect. His dad’s stubble nearly matches the outgrowth of his hair, there are bags under his eyes and a redness to match the flush of his cheeks. There’s also bright red on his chest above the neck of his tank top and traveling up his neck as he yells.  <br/><br/>“You stupid idiot,<em> slut!”</em> his dad yells with another slam of his fist against the door. <br/><br/>“Dad!” he shouts. He holds his hands up and out in the open at first so he won’t immediately be met with a swing in his direction. <br/><br/>His dad slumps against the door, leaning the weight of his uncoordinated, inebriated body against it. His temple presses against the wood as his head lolls. “Will,” Dad groans like he does when he might be sick. He does the heavy sort of swallow too. “You knew about this didn’t you?”<br/><br/>Will swallows too and the choking feeling at the back of his throat doesn't budge. The words sound clumsy to his ears when he manages to say: “Know what?”<br/><br/>Dad scoffs and, after a few tries, manages to press the heel of his hand against the door frame. “You think you can pull a fast one on me?” he taunts with a scoff. “My sons might be <em>stupid</em> and <em>weak</em>, but it’s not because they take after me.”<br/><br/>Will suppresses his flinch the way he’s learned to. His father learned quickly that talking about their mom hurt Will, so Will had to learn <em>almost</em> as quickly how to not give him the reaction he was looking for. Dad would call that <em>progress</em>. Will hates that. <br/><br/>Will clenches his jaw and says through the grit of his teeth, “You look pretty weak to me.”<br/><br/>Dad’s brow furrows and his voice gets deeper and rougher as his anger turns the sluggish blood in his veins into fuel that burns brutally. “What did you say?” <br/><br/>Will can feel the thrum of blood in his veins too, but without the alcohol to fuel the flame and ease any pain – current or expected – his words come out far <em>colder</em>. “You’re so drunk and <em>weak</em> you can’t even stand up.”<br/><br/>His dad pushes himself away from the door and stands up taller to try and prove Will wrong. As he takes a heavy step away from Aiden’s room and down the hall, he proves Will right in the way Will was wanting. With each step closer and closer, Will pulls in a shaky breath and tries to steady the shake of his hands. There will be only a split second between what Will anticipates and what happens. <br/><br/>He can avoid the first punch just fine. His dad stumbles and his shoulder hits the wall with a thud. There’s a longer moment of pause as his dad staggers to his feet again. Will looks into the lazy haze of his eyes and sees nothing but blurred rage. It’s probably been a long time since his dad has known exactly what it is that he’s so angry about. Dad only knows that he’s angry and only knows two things to do about it: drink and fight. <br/><br/>His dad grips the front of Will's shirt in both fists and shoves him back to slam him against the wall. The roughness knocks the air from his lungs. He grabs at his dad’s shoulders and his inhale is sharp as he then pulls forward to connect his knee with his dad’s gut. Dad groans as the air comes rushing out of him and he releases his hold on Will to press against the ache. It’s likely dull at best with all the alcohol and won’t last long. When Will punches him in the face next, his dad stumbles and slides down the wall to fall in a slump on the floor. Finally, Will has a space of time that’s <em>good enough</em>.  <br/><br/>He knocks on Aiden’s door and presses his face near it, but not with the lack of care or coordination as their dad had done. “Aiden,” he says when he turns the doorknob and there’s no budging. “I need you to open the door.”<br/><br/>As soon as Aiden’s cracked the door even slightly, Will pushes his way inside and quickly closes it behind him. Will’s hands twitch with the want for a bolt or a chain to lock the door, but there’s nothing. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to be doing things like dragging a desk across the floor, but it seems like it would be worse not to. <br/><br/><em>“Will,” </em>Aiden says, his voice wavering with the same frantic frenzy that has Will’s hands trembling. Aiden's breaths come out quick and anxious, so much so that he might not even be truly breathing in. <br/><br/>“Come here,” Will says. He holds his hands out for Aiden to look at before he places them on either side of Aiden’s neck. The muscles there are tense and Will might be able to feel Aiden’s pulse against his thumb. He presses his forehead against Aiden’s and touches the tips of their noses together and indulges in the synchronicity. Aiden’s hands grip at Will’s back and, as Aiden’s belly presses against his, Will urges, “Call Duncan.”<br/><br/><em>“Will,”</em> his little brother gasps again, though this time there’s much less relief and much more uncertainty. <br/><br/>“We don’t have time,” Will interrupts, feeling as though their dad could charge in at any moment. As much as it’s been Will’s job for a long time to protect Aiden and he's learned to become an expert, there’s so much more now at stake and no room for mistakes or missteps. “Call Duncan. Tell him to come get you.”<br/><br/>“Will,” Aiden tries again, this time releasing Will’s shirt from the grip of one of his hands and placing it on Will’s waist near where their bellies press against each other. <br/><br/>“Get <em>us,”</em> Will says with a stiff nod and a half-hearted smile that he hopes might be reassuring. “Duncan will come get us. Call him.”<br/><br/>While Aiden makes his phone call, Will doesn’t bother with overhearing. He’s ears are attuned to any shifting of the floorboards or thuds against the walls or the door. He might think he hears something as he shoves some of Aiden’s things in a bag, but when he pauses to listen closely, it might also be nothing. Will zips and slings the strap of it across his shoulder as he moves to push the desk back out of the way. <br/><br/>Aiden holds his hand as they creep into the hallway. Their dad is still groaning on the ground with blood on his face and dripping down his hand. They try to give him a wide berth, but the house is small, the halls are narrow, and the stairs are too nearby. <br/><br/>Their dad’s laugh is bitter and dark as he pushes his bloodied hand against the wall without a care for a mark or a stain. “How could you let this happen?” he accuses, directing the insult at Will but flicking cruel eyes towards Aiden. “You were supposed to look after him and he was out there spreading his legs.”<br/><br/>Will gives Aiden’s hand a squeeze and then lets it go. He ducks his head to murmur as quietly as he can: “Go downstairs.” And then when Aiden might seem like he’ll want to object or hesitate, Will whispers, <em>“Please.”<br/></em><br/>These are the times when Aiden does as he’s told and these are the times when Will wishes he didn’t have to. He wishes Aiden could be as loud and proud as he usually is. He wishes their dad’s rage wasn’t strong enough to overcome Aiden’s joy. Will would prefer if <em>nothing</em> could manage to do that. <br/><br/>As soon as Aiden’s foot has left the last step, Will turns his attention back to their dad. He watches Dad clumsily rise to his feet and brush his finger under his nose again in search of any more drips of blood. “You were supposed to be his dad,” Will accuses right back. “<em>You </em>were supposed to look after him.”<br/><br/>“I teach you to defend yourself so you can teach him,” Dad says as he points a judgmental, disapproving, antagonizing finger. “You weren’t supposed to teach him to be some sniveling, <em>knocked up idiot</em>.”<br/><br/>Will’s muscles tense with a rage he doesn’t want to feel. It's a rage that makes him think that it’s his dad’s reflection he’d see if he were to look in the mirror. It’s the rage that has his fingers curling back in a fist and almost wishing he didn’t have his inhibitions telling him to hold back. “I let you <em>teach </em>me so you wouldn’t <em>beat</em> him.”<br/><br/>A door slams and footsteps thunder; it’s the loudest Duncan may have ever been. It might make Will surprised to see him if he weren’t so relieved – and if he’d been in the mood to be teasing. Aiden probably doesn’t even have the energy to enjoy Duncan getting flustered on their behalf. <br/><br/>Duncan climbs the stairs two at a time and then places his body in between Will and his dad. Duncan is just as tall as Dad, but something about Duncan gives him the impression of standing taller. Maybe it’s his sober posture or the way his shoulders seem broader in a jean jacket than Will’s dad looks in just a tank top. Maybe it’s the way Duncan’s spine might seem to be made of the sturdiest of metals and his chest could be like a shield.<br/><br/>Dad’s lip turns in an ugly snarl and his S’s slur as he says, “My <em>stupid</em> sons can’t even fight their own fights.” <br/><br/>Duncan ignores him and looks only at Will as he states, “Let’s go.”<br/><br/>Dad jerks a hand out to grip Will’s shoulder. “You’re <em>not </em>leaving,” he demands as his fingers dig in deeper and harder, though probably not enough yet to leave a bruise. Any cruelty his fingers lack, he kept for his words: “I’ll kill you if you try.”<br/>            <br/>Will jerks away as soon as the words register – maybe even a little before – and he pulls his shoulder from his dad’s grip. The motion leaves him feeling disconnected like he’s separating in two. There’s the part of him that’s running at a mile a minute and the part of him that he’s not sure can move at all. He remembers this feeling. He’d thought he’d gotten past it.  <br/><br/>“We’re leaving,” he states, though his mouth and tongue feel strange around the words. He wishes he sounded more confident. <br/><br/>Pain blooms across Will’s cheek. He feels the cut of his teeth and his tongue tastes the metallic of his blood. His head jerks to the side with the blow as he stumbles. As soon as he recovers, he’s punching back just as he’s learned to and this time when his dad falls to the floor, he doesn’t just leave him there. Will lands one punch and then another and he knows that his knuckles are bleeding but he hardly feels it. <br/><br/>When a hand grabs at his wrist, he startles and blinks. He can feel harsh breaths pulling out halting noises but can’t say how long he’s gone without noticing it. The only thing that keeps him from lashing out is that the grip on his wrist isn’t as tight as it could be and allows him to pull away without too much force or fight. Will’s eyes trail from those fingers back up a sleeve that covers an arm and travel further upward to land on Duncan’s face. Duncan hardly blinks. There’s no wide-eyed shock or gaping mouth. Those reactions wouldn’t be Duncan’s way. Will’s reassured by that thought and how well he still knows it.<br/><br/>“Aiden’s waiting,” Duncan tells him. <br/><br/>Will nods his head and looks back at his father one last time. He doesn’t dare lean close enough to risk his dad’s reach, so instead he makes sure to be loud enough for his dazed and drunken dad to hear him when he says, “When we fought, I only ever <em>let you</em> win.”<br/><br/>Will is careful as he rises from the floor. He watches each foot on the stairs as he walks down. He feels unbalanced and like at any moment there might be the swooping sensation that comes from a reckoning with gravity. But he makes it just fine and the relief he feels might only be an echo, but at least it matches the look in Aiden’s eyes. <br/><br/>When they climb into Duncan’s truck, Will sits in the back with Aiden and no one says anything about it. He fastens Aiden’s seatbelt for him and lets his little brother rest his head on his shoulder. It’s just as much for Will’s benefit as Aiden’s. His cheek still hurts when he presses it against Aiden’s hair, but he can’t bear to do anything else. He takes deep breaths so that Aiden will and lets the lull of a smooth drive calm him.<br/><br/>“Wait,” Will says as he startles. “Stop.”<br/><br/>Duncan – ever attentive and a good listener – has the turn signal clicking and the truck slowing to a stop in no time. He turns around in his seat to look at the pair of them as he asks, “What is it?”<br/><br/>“We have to go to the police,” Will tells him and Aiden presses his face further into Will’s neck. “If we don’t, he will. And he’ll tell them we attacked him.”<br/><br/>Duncan hums, nods his head, and turns back to the front to carry on driving. Will presses kisses to Aiden’s curls while they drive and with each one he feels Aiden more clearly and surely in his arms. <br/><br/>“No one says anything to the police about me having a baby too,” Will announces to them when he feels Aiden’s fingers regaining some shred of their usual curiosity and pressing against Will’s belly too. Will presses another kiss to Aiden’s hair and says, “I need them to be willing to let me take custody of you.”<br/><br/>“You should get checked,” Duncan states, only glancing at them in his rearview mirror at the last stoplight before the police station comes into view.<br/><br/>“I’m fine,” Will says. He winces a bit when he smiles but that’s really the only thing that hurts now – well until he curls his fingers to cradle Aiden’s belly a little differently and his knuckles twinge in complaint. “It’s just my face and my hands.”<br/><br/>His face and his hands are what the police take an interest in. They make sure to take pictures of them, as well as one of an older bruise higher up on his arm. They take statements and Will stays with Aiden the whole time. He listens as Aiden recounts how he’d just wanted a glass of water. Usually their dad is down for the count as soon as he starts snoring. Usually. Will holds Aiden’s hand in both of his as his little brother describes everything. Even as Will holds him close, his little brother’s voice sounds so different and so far away. <br/><br/>Will is afraid they won’t let him leave. He’s afraid that even with all the witnesses and all the history he can tell, it won’t be enough. He will just be a teenager and his dad will be an adult and Will's word will matter less. It might be as much disbelief as relief when they are allowed to climb into Duncan’s truck. After he buckles his seatbelt, he might rub around his wrists once or twice just to feel that there are no handcuffs to be found. <br/><br/>Everything is quiet on the ride to Duncan’s house. There’s nothing good for anybody to say. At least, that’s how Will feels. Having known something like this could very well happen, Will might have considered what he would do or say afterward, but none of that seems to matter now. Both Will and Aiden know they’re better off without their father. They know what matters most is they’re together. But platitudes like those don’t seem to sink in deep enough to override the dread and uncertainty. <br/><br/>Duncan lays back in the center of his bed and Will and Aiden rest on either side of him. They each curl in with their head on one of his shoulders and one of his arms wrapped around each of their sides. With Will being a bit taller and Aiden’s belly more than a bit bigger, it’s not a perfectly mirrored image. But Duncan offers both of them his strength in equal measure and doesn’t seem to run out. <br/><br/>Aiden’s sniffle shatters something. Tears drip down his nose and cheek to soak Duncan’s shirt. “I’m such an <em>idiot</em>,” he says through a throat full of tears. <br/><br/>Will reaches a hand to take one of Aiden’s and place them both together against Duncan’s sternum. “Do not take the blame for him,” Will tells him. “He’s the asshole, not you.”<br/><br/>“Don’t tell me you don’t feel guilty,” Aiden says as he sniffs some more. “Don’t lie.”<br/><br/>Will can feel his own tears too even as he smiles softly at his little brother. “I’ve always wanted to protect you.” <br/><br/>“You have,” Aiden promises as he squeezes at Will’s hand and Duncan rubs his hand slowly but surely against Will’s back. “He’s the asshole, not you.”<br/><br/>Aiden cranes his neck to look up at Duncan and then rubs his cheek against his chest. He closes his eyes and hums. “We’re going to have a family,” Aiden declares, even as more tears line his lashes. “All together. No one disappears, no one dies, no one throws a punch. Everyone’s safe.”<br/><br/>Duncan’s voice rumbles pleasantly as he states, “Everyone is safe.”<br/><br/>Duncan presses a kiss to each of their hair and then settles his head back on the pillow. Will and Aiden keep an eye on each other as their blinks become longer and longer and they reluctantly drift to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>cw: parental abuse (emotional, physical), violence, blood, slut-shaming, trauma/dissociation  </p><p>--</p><p>I'm changing how I post on this AO3 account. If you want to learn more, <a href="https://twitter.com/transcryptidone/status/1383467141387624448">click here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Will touches the deadbolt and twists the doorknob. The front door doesn’t budge with the bolt in place. He just wanted to be sure. It only seems to take a little extra energy, a few extra steps, and barely more than a moment to check. It seems like that every night. <br/><br/>“I locked it.”<br/><br/>Will drops his hand away and turns towards Duncan. It’s dark in the room but Will knows his voice and his presence by now. They’ve lived together since <em>the fight</em> and they’ve been best friends for so much longer. Will has walked from the front door past the couch without bumping into the corner of the coffee table. He knows the spread of Duncan’s shoulders and that no bruises will come from collisions with his edges either. <br/><br/>“Thank you,” Will says with a smile because he knows even if there’s not enough moonlight to see it, Duncan will understand.<br/><br/>“I can make sure it’s locked,” Duncan rasps into the air that’s cooled in the absence of sunlight that’s building towards summer.  <br/><br/>Will approaches the sound and finds warmth in the touch of his hand to Duncan’s chest. “I know you can.”<br/><br/>“You still don’t feel safe,” Duncan observes as he takes Will’s hand. <br/><br/>Will laughs short and quiet so as not to disturb the silence too much. “I’m used to making sure I look over my shoulder.” <br/><br/>“You don’t need to anymore,” Duncan reminds him. The tone of his voice doesn’t pressure or complain at how many times Will gets up in the night and wakes him up or how many times <em>Duncan</em> who hardly says anything <em>once</em> has had to say the same thing <em>multiple</em> times now. <br/><br/>“It’s one thing thinking it and another <em>believing it</em>,” Will apologizes. He ducks his head and rubs his open hand against his forehead and down to his eyes. “It feels like he’s in every shadow. Even when I know he’s not.”<br/><br/>Duncan lightly grasps Will’s wrist and pulls it away from rubbing at his eyes further. He presses his thumb into the center of Will’s palm and cradles his wrist with the rest of his fingers. Will’s fingers seem incapable of doing anything but curling around his thumb and Will doesn’t see any reason to fight something so simple and easy. <br/><br/>“Come back to bed,” Duncan urges, his rasp so soothing and resonant, and Will only seems capable of saying, “Okay.”<br/><br/>Duncan keeps hold of his hand and guiding Will through the dark back to the room that has become <em>their</em> bedroom – the three of them. Aiden’s still in bed, nearly to the edge by the left side except for the cushion of pillows. As Will climbs into bed behind his little brother, he wonders how many pillows will be devoted to keeping Aiden comfortable, belly and all. <br/><br/>When he presses against the pillow under Aiden’s waist and lower back, Will wonders how many times over the pillows will outnumber the people – even when the unborn are included in the count. Will’s hand cups against his little brother’s not-so-little belly, so round against his fingers already, and though he suspects Duncan’s hand <em>would</em> cradle Will’s much smaller belly, he curls his arm around Will’s chest instead. <br/><br/>“I love you,” Will says, pressing the words into Aiden’s hair, but hoping Duncan hears them too.<br/><br/>Will can’t say he feels particularly well-rested when he wakes up the next morning. He also can’t say for sure that what he feels is excitement. The pound of his heart and rush in his veins is so <em>very nearly</em> the same as worry. Aiden groans in protest of an alarm clock blaring on a Saturday morning. Will would chide him but his little brother is already back asleep as soon as the beeping stops, so he just resets the alarm for a couple hours later when Aiden will actually need to get up. <br/><br/>Will and Duncan need to be at school early for the class picture and to know where to stand and be reminded who the valedictorian is and what happens when. Will just wants it all over with. With Duncan so far from him in the line, Will’s graduation gown easily hiding his belly seems like the only lucky thing of the day – though it's very <em>unlucky</em> that the cheap black fabric is extremely hot as it turns out. Will feels like he’s cooking in a garbage bag while he sits in the hot sun and waits for the speeches to end. <br/><br/>He only gets a few brushes of the wind against his sweaty brow when he finally stands to get ready to receive his diploma. His cheeks flush and burn when he blinks every so often at the crowd. Any eye contact he quickly blinks away from. He wouldn’t keep looking back except that once again he feels like he has to. Even though their dad never showed any interest in something like <em>graduation</em> – or knowing one day from the next. Will has also learned to expect that anything could be possible. <br/><br/><em>Will Graham.<br/></em><br/>Will walks to the front, staring at his shoes as he climbs the steps to make sure he doesn’t trip and holding onto his graduation cap so it won’t fall off his head. Molly shoved a couple of bobby pins into his hair but he’s not sure they did anything. When he’s handed his diploma, the crowd claps as it has for everyone before him and will for everyone after him – and then there is a particularly loud cheer that stands out from the crowd. Aiden stands with his program tucked under his arm and claps his hands in front of the curve of his belly. Will blinks against the bright sunlight, flips the tassel from one side to the other, and smiles. <br/><br/><em>Duncan Vizla.</em><br/><br/>Duncan is very nearly the very last to get his diploma but Aiden still has the energy to give him the same treatment. Will’s eyes flick back and forth between his little brother who has become pinker in the sunlight and the radiance of their new graduate’s rare smile. Will laughs and claps harder and smiles harder too. <br/><br/>After the ceremony is done and families have lingered to meet friends and receive handshakes from teachers and brag about achievements, the graduates themselves linger. They wait until the happy families disperse and the dark of night descends to gather by the cement wall at the edge of the soccer field. They’d been told by the principal that they weren’t allowed to decorate said wall but their classmates weren’t looking for permission. Allowed or not, they gathered with beer bottles, plastic cups for mixed drinks with cheap liquor, and spray paint in a variety of colors. The streetlights give off just enough yellowed illumination to show each name as each graduate leaves their last, rebellious mark. <br/><br/>Some of Will and Duncan’s now-former classmates start with the liquor and others start with the spray paint but carefree laughter of all kinds spills out onto the abandoned soccer field. Will can pick out some voices in the cacophony but it mostly becomes a blur of easy background noise. He lowers himself carefully to the grass, leans back against his hands, tips his chin up to look at the sky. When there are no stars to be seen, he closes his eyes.  The grass doesn’t smell quite as strongly as it did this morning when it was first cut and the smell soon disappears under the scent of smoke. <br/><br/>When he opens his eyes, Will is happy to see Duncan sitting there next to him. He smells like the cigarette he just smoked but in his hands he holds two cups. He passes one to Will and he doesn’t have to snip or sip to know there’s no alcohol in it. He takes a drink and tastes only the orange juice that had been brought as a mixer. Duncan sips from his own cup and it might be the same or it might have the sharp burn of alcohol. Either way is fine. Will can drive them home now that Aiden drives himself. <br/><br/>Will feels a surge of panic in his chest at the reminder that Aiden is at home alone. He tries to blink away the thought again and bite his lip to squash the grimace. Duncan shifts closer to press their body heat together, shoulder-to-shoulder, hip-to-hip. The dark, heady smell of smoke on him is as comforting to Will as the cigarette itself may have been to Duncan.<br/><br/>“We should leave,” Duncan murmurs. <br/><br/>“Yeah,” Will sighs and looks back to the sky to see if he’ll find any more stars. However yellowed and dulled the streetlights might seem, they’re enough to make Will have to squint to make out any little sparkles or lights in the night sky. <br/><br/>“I mean move away.”<br/><br/>“We can’t do that,” Will says with a laugh somewhat like a scoff. “Aiden goes to school here. He has friends.”<br/><br/>“You won’t feel safe as long as your father’s just on the other side of town,” Duncan states. “When you could see him in a restaurant or the grocery store.”<br/><br/>Will’s laugh this time is less cheeky like a scoff and more sardonic like self-deprecation. “My dad doesn’t go to restaurants or grocery stores.”<br/><br/>Duncan hums and settles his drink in between tufts of grass to keep it upright. “You know what I mean.”<br/><br/>“Yeah,” Will says with a deep breath in and out. It might feel so humid that the breath should form its own sort of fog. “I do.”<br/><br/>“Aiden can go to school anywhere,” Duncan continues. “He’s good at making friends.”<br/><br/>“He is,” Will agrees with a smile that’s a bit crooked but genuine. <br/><br/>“Aiden wants to get away too.”<br/><br/>Will tips his head down to leave the disappearing stars behind and furrow his brow at Duncan instead. “He told you that?” <br/><br/>“I can see it,” Duncan assures him. “In both of you.”<br/><br/>“What do you see?” Will asks and the humidity might gain some prickle as his eyes meet Duncan’s and hold fast and firm on his gaze. <br/><br/>Duncan doesn’t answer with words. He closes the gap between them and brings their lips together to communicate with touch what they both know. Will can taste the barest bite of alcohol on Duncan’s tongue. It’s not enough to do much to Will for better or worse but there is some easygoing association that Will holds and it has him hoping to coax Duncan’s laidback demeanor into something lax – something where Will might be able to lay Duncan back into the grass and kiss him to his heart’s content and beyond it. <br/><br/>The ground thumps behind them and might seem to shake a little too as clumsy knees fall against the grass. “Well if it isn’t the most unlikely couple in all the graduating class!” Molly exclaims.<br/><br/>“It’s not <em>that </em>unlikely,” Beverly says with footsteps that fall much lighter.<em><br/></em><br/>Will pulls away from Duncan with the feeling of being caught and worries for consequences, though he’s not entirely sure what they would be. He could be accused of stealing his brother’s boyfriend, but that’s not that bad, particularly when he knows the truth. They might guess the truth but that seems unlikely. Molly and Beverly sit and drink with them as they discuss what comes next. For the girls, the answer is college with dorm rooms, new friends, and late-night cram sessions. Meanwhile, Will and Duncan say they’ll get jobs and keep plans for being up all night with babies unsaid. <br/><br/>Duncan finishes his drink and then drinks Will’s for him when Molly tips in her cup with what could be ninety percent vodka and ten percent juice and calls it <em>friendly sharing</em>. Will and Duncan spraypaint their initials – and <em>just </em>their initials – on the wall before they call it a night and then Molly sprays a drunk-sloppy heart around the letters. Before they leave and when all eyes are otherwise distracted – including Molly’s – Will sneaks an <em>A</em> down near the bottom of the heart.<br/><br/>Duncan rolls the window down on the way home and clearly thinks about smoking but doesn’t. He puts his arm through the window and twirls his fingers through the rushing air. It feels cooler in motion than it had when stagnant and <em>sticky</em>. The way the wind rustles Will’s curls helps clear away the sweat and send tingles across his skin. <br/><br/>The lights are on when Will parks in the driveway. He neither expected Aiden to stay up nor expected him to be asleep. He does sigh in relief when he doesn’t hear any shouting, just maybe the soft sound of some music playing. He’s glad when the front door won’t budge and he has to reach in his pocket for his set of keys. <br/><br/>When Will and Duncan walk through the front door, Aiden is there waiting for them expectantly. His shirt and skirt are a familiar sight – but not on him. The bright red fabric is garish and meant to be seen from far off. Like a billboard, it draws the eyes and puts Aiden on display. The bright red color and the way it <em>can’t </em>stretch enough bracket Aiden’s belly and make it impossible to look away from. <br/><br/>“What is this?” Will says with an astonished, disbelieving sort of laugh as his eyes remain fixed on his little brother in a <em>cheerleading uniform</em>, pleated skirt and all. <br/><br/>“A celebration,” Aiden replies as he places his hands not-so-innocently on his belly, framing his belly button with his thumb and pointer finger to form a diamond shape. <br/><br/>“Where did you get it?” Will questions, still smiling as he approaches his brother and touches the teeth of the zipper that won’t zip up. The zipper on the skirt won’t zip either, bending to the will of a belly that has grown round and tight and will only grow more. <br/><br/>Aiden smiles – <em>so pleased with himself</em> – as he simply answers, “I borrowed it.”<br/><br/>Will scoffs. “Stole it more like.” <br/><br/>Aiden dismisses the needless concern with a singular tsk of his tongue. “We’ll be long gone before they catch on,” he says and when Will hums, he looks to Duncan instead. “And what do you think?”<br/><br/>Both brothers look to Duncan as he clicks the lock back in place. He licks his lips and swallows before he rasps, “You look good.” <br/><br/>“Good?” Aiden questions, raising a teasing brow and resting his hand against where the skirt’s waistband presses into his hip and the bottom curve of his belly. <br/><br/>“Come to bed with me,” Duncan states, though not quite a demand. <br/><br/>Aiden tips his chin down and smirks. “That’s how you got me this way.”<br/><br/>Duncan doesn’t say anything to that. He scoops Aiden into this arms carefully and quickly and Aiden laughs as he throws his head back and loops his arms around Duncan’s shoulders. <br/><br/>“Careful!” Aiden shouts without a care in the world. “I can’t do acrobatics like I used to. I’m too big for that now.”<br/><br/>Duncan carries him through to the bedroom and sets Aiden down onto the mattress. Aiden leans back on his elbows and Will sits there beside him while Duncan kneels between Aiden’s knees on the floor. Duncan’s hands dip under the pleats of Aiden’s skirt as Will’s fingers twitch to touch the belly he still can’t seem to keep his eyes off of. <br/><br/>“You can touch,” Aiden tells him, tone much softer than his taunts of Duncan. “You can even kiss it if you want.”<br/><br/>Will looks at Aiden in surprise and then quickly looks away when he feels caught by the <em>knowing</em> look in his little brother’s eyes. He ducks his head to press just one kiss to the tight skin of Aiden’s belly – and then that kiss turns into another one. He presses kiss after kiss, each kiss feeling so perfect and so sweet that he might never get enough. <br/><br/>Aiden gasps and falls back flat against the bed. The pleats of his skirt are bunched up by his hips as Duncan has his head underneath and suddenly a burn and a clench grips Will’s heart with the acute want to show his mark on his brother too. He thinks of Aiden’s flirtation, demanding hickeys in further proof of having captured another person’s care for him and the presses of his mouth get sloppier and the pulling of his lips becomes more demanding. Even the edges of his teeth might dig into the tight curve with passion and care.  <br/><br/>He leaves spots of bruises across his brother’s belly, hardly noticing them until he’s forced to move his head away so that Duncan might finally shimmy Aiden’s skirt down and away. Will presses his thumbs against the reddened spots that may very well turn purple by morning and Aiden’s moan sends shivers down Will’s spine. There’s a throbbing want between his legs, the want to touch and rub and chase the feeling that sizzles and steals the air from his lungs.  <br/><br/>Will strips himself of his pants and his underwear. The marks pressed into Aiden’s skin by the zipper match the marks on Will’s hips from a waistband that dug in too much and too harshly. He lies back on the bed just like Aiden does and closes his eyes as he pushes his shirt up past his own belly and smooths from the top of the faint, growing slope and down between his legs. <br/><br/>“You’ve ruined me,” Aiden gasps right next to him, words spoken to Duncan and echoing in Will’s ear. <br/><br/>Duncan groans and the bed shifts with his body weight. Aiden’s knees fall open wider and knock against Will’s. “I’ve made you better,” Duncan rasps. <br/><br/>Aiden’s laugh gets cut off by another gasp and a moan. His breath is panting while Duncan’s hand presses a divot into the mattress between Will and Aiden’s heads. “Look at me,” Aiden whispers breathlessly. “Big and round and swollen.” <br/><br/>The bed rocks with the thrust of Duncan’s hips and Aiden moans as Will does while he rubs and touches himself with the roughness of Duncan’s motion. Will finds just the right way to touch and does it over and over and harder and harder and <em>faster </em>and <em>faster</em>, chasing the pleasure that builds as unrelenting as Duncan and Aiden both. <br/><br/>“Pinned on my back so you can see what you’ve done,” Aiden teases even as his breaths interrupt and punctuate his words. “A boy like you with booze on your breath knocking up a cheerleader.”<br/><br/>Duncan and Will groan. Will’s fingers pick up speed and Duncan’s hips pick up strength. Aiden grips the comforter underneath that in his fists and twists as his back arches as much as it can. <br/><br/>“How could you do this to me?” Aiden begs with tears thickening and clogging his throat. His gasps come out as sobs. “How am I supposed to go out in front of everyone like this? What will people think?”<br/><br/>Duncan slams his hips one last time and declares, “They’ll know that you like it.”<br/><br/>Will and Aiden both moan as their pleasure peaks and washes away any doubt or question that Duncan is exactly right. As the three of them lay there catching their breath and comprehending what’s just come over them, they must all recognize that any embarrassment has come tinged with titillation; without looming threats, scandal feels like seduction; and however others think of them, there might always be the potential to find pleasure.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Will wipes his forehead against the shoulder of his shirt and hopes it’s a clean part. The motion knocks against the band of his cap and shifts it lopsided. Will sighs and does exactly what he was trying to avoid: setting aside his wrench. He takes his cap off and puts it back on again so that it will keep his hair out of his face while he’s trying to work. As soon as it’s situated right again, he leans back over the engine he’d been working on and ignores how the fabric of his overalls digs into his shoulders. He’ll figure that after he’s done figuring out this. <br/><br/>Classic rock plays over the speakers. It’s cranked up loud so that it can be heard over the whirring struggle of a couple of air conditioners and the clinking of tools. Will hums along to one of the songs and one of the other guys in the shop actually sings the chorus. A couple of the other guys just make small talk like they always do regardless. They can’t seem to handle silence – even when it includes music. For obvious reasons, those guys can tend to find Duncan rather unsettling. Sometimes Will sees them trying to get Duncan talking when they’re out for a smoke.<br/><br/>Some of the guys seem to find Will unsettling too, but it’s not as bad as Will expected honestly. He’d gone to his interview and made no mention of the baby, keeping Duncan’s suit jacket buttoned had been enough to keep that conversation still a choice. As he’s worked and worn the same overalls as everyone else, there was no longer a need to ask a question or the choice to keep a secret. The answer and facts of the matter have only become more and more obvious with time and will only continue on with each passing day. The little rounding that initially barely pushed out against the front strains the fabric more and more insistently. He needs a bigger size but he doesn’t want to ask. <br/><br/>Anyway, Will hadn’t been fired. That was what mattered most. The bossman knows Will is good with cars and he doesn’t need to involve himself in Will’s personal life. He only asked that Will and Duncan keep it <em>professional</em> and Will’s fine with that. <br/><br/>He drops his wrench when arms circle around him. It clinks and clanks against metal as it falls and Will winces when it echoes as it strikes the concrete floor. When he recognizes those arms, he relaxes; then he frowns again. “What are you doing here?” he asks as Aiden digs his nose into Will’s spine and rubs his forehead between Will’s shoulder blades. <br/><br/>Aiden sighs and grumbles, “Cassidy went into labor. Her mom couldn’t come pick her up so Mr. Miller had to drive her to the hospital.”<br/><br/>Will taps the back of his brother’s hands so that he’ll loosen his arms at least enough for Will to turn around. As soon as Aiden comes into view, he’s already smiling and dropping his arms away to rub across his belly. Will rolls his shoulder until he hears a sort of pop and digs his knuckles against his lower back. <br/><br/>“If you ask me, Mr. Miller was glad he had to take her,” Aiden says with a smirk and a wink. He grips one hand on the strap of his bag and keeps the other cradling his baby bump. “The girls are going to come over later so that we can go over what we <em>would have</em> learned.”<br/><br/>Will nods his head. When they moved, Aiden enrolled in a pregnancy school. They figured it would work better that way and it gave them an extra excuse to leave town. Will breathed a sigh of relief when they crossed the state lines and had neither their father nor some sort of social services on their tail. They were allowed to go and, most importantly, Will was allowed to take Aiden with him. Their father was probably too passed out drunk to remember to fight for them. <br/><br/>Will furrows his brow and frowns slightly. “That still doesn’t tell me what you’re doing <em>here.</em>” <br/><br/>“I wanted to see you,” Aiden says with an easy smile. His eyes seem particularly blue as he casts them around the room. “And Duncan.”<br/><br/>“We’re working,” Will says, pressing a hand to his belly as he reaches to pick up the wrench that had been dropped and forgotten.  <br/><br/>Aiden hums and looks around again. His eyes trail over the shapes of cars, piles of tools, and other bodies milling around. “Maybe I wanted to see why you want to go to work so badly.”<br/><br/>Will rolls his eyes. “I have to work.”<br/><br/>Aiden hums again because he doesn’t believe it and Will already knows what his little brother thinks. He thinks Will shouldn’t make himself work harder than he has to. Aiden thinks that Duncan has enough money from his inheritance that there’s no need for Will to work at all. Aiden also thinks Duncan only works in the garage so he can keep an eye on Will. He’s probably at least right about that last part. <br/><br/>“Aiden?” Duncan rasps as he walks in from his smoke break out back. The bossman doesn’t like for the customers to see them smoking – as if their decision to smoke says something about their skills with an engine and as if anything about their personal decision-making should be a customer’s business at all for that matter. <br/><br/>As Aiden turns towards Duncan, his smile shows the pretty whites of his perfectly straight teeth. “Hello, you.”<br/><br/>Duncan brushes his bangs away from his face. They’ve grown long enough to stay tucked behind his ear where a spare cigarette sometimes sits. “What are you doing here?”<br/><br/>Aiden sighs and rolls his eyes. “Another one popped at school,” he remarks. “You’d think they’d plan on that sort of thing happening seeing as it’s an eventuality in our condition. Should have just built the school off the side of the maternity ward.”<br/><br/>Duncan laughs. It’s so quiet that it’s more of a visual than a sound. His mouth twitches upwards and his head tilts up to show his smile a bit more. His eyes squint slightly in a way that makes Will’s heart ache a little. But in the good way. Aiden’s chin tilts up and his eyes squint too in a way they’ve learned is a quiet demand for a kiss; Duncan’s lips twitch again with the wish that he could. <br/><br/>“Go home, Aiden,” Will instructs. He’s had more experience with Aiden’s impishness and more time to build up something of a resistance. He wipes off his hands on a rag hanging from his pocket. Even doing so, he’s still hesitant to touch Aiden’s shoulder lest he leave a stain on his shirt. “You’ll be bored here.”<br/><br/>“I brought you a snack,” Aiden says, pulling his bag up against his belly to root around in the pocket. He pulls out a paper bag from his favorite coffee shop with two lumps inside that are most likely a couple of muffins. He smirks as he holds the bag out to Will as he says, “Thank you for your gratitude.”<br/><br/>“Who is this then?” asks one of the guys who smokes near Duncan. The other one stands beside him and the smell of smoke still clings to them both. Their eyes flit between Duncan, Will, and Aiden and then glance towards each other before they do another cycle. <br/><br/>“Aiden,” Will introduces because now it’s inevitable. “My brother.”<br/><br/>“Nice to meet you,” Jeff says as he holds his hand out for Aiden to shake. <br/><br/>Aiden drops the bag his hands into Will’s – and it almost gets dropped to the floor. Will catches it without too much fumbling and Aiden shakes hands with Jeff and then Travis. <br/><br/>“You hardly needed to say the part about him being your brother,” Travis says as he holds Aiden’s little hand in two of his oil-stained, beefy ones. He looks between Will and Aiden and scoffs. “You really are the spitting image of each other.”<br/><br/>Aiden laughs as he slips his hand away. He says so simply and seemingly innocently, “Sometimes people think we’re twins.”<br/><br/>Travis scoffs again and jerks a joking elbow towards Duncan. “It’s always the quiet ones,” he remarks as he smooths a hand down his own bushy goatee. <br/><br/>Aiden smiles and steps over to Duncan to intertwine their hands together. “Are you not being chatty?” he teases while his other hand rubs across his belly from top to bottom. “That’s so unlike you.”<br/><br/>“Aiden,” Will interrupts. He knows all too well where this is going. They’re meant to keep the professional and personal separate. Will’s done that just fine for weeks but Aiden might not last an hour. <br/><br/>“In such a rush to get rid of me,” Aiden says, more towards Jeff and Travis. He gives a quiet chuckle before he adds, “You’d think he’s not happy to see me.”<br/><br/>“I’ll be very happy to see you at <em>home,” </em>Will counters. <em>“After</em> work.”<br/><br/>“Fine,” Aiden says like he got what he needed. He looks back at Duncan and apparently can’t keep himself from giving Duncan a kiss on the cheek before he concedes. “See you at home.”<br/><br/>“See you at home,” Duncan says, distinctly ignoring how he’s being stared at. <br/><br/>Duncan keeps his eyes on Aiden and then transfers his attention to his work using his mastery of avoiding unnecessary conversation. Even though he keeps his head down and he doesn’t take another cigarette break, when Will comes back from a bathroom break Jeff and Travis are standing around the hood of the car Duncan’s working on. <br/><br/>When work is done for the day, Jeff and Travis wave their unlit cigarettes as Will and Duncan back out of the lot. That’s when Will knows for sure that the whole garage will know the tale by the time they’re back for their morning shift. Will sighs and dreads the fact that there will be company when they get home. It’s exhausting to work and to perform for a bunch of strangers, especially when he just wants to lay down and ask Duncan to order food. But just because he wants something, doesn’t mean that it is and when he opens his front door, there are five pregnant teens in the living room. At least there’s pizza. <br/><br/>“Hello, everyone,” Will says as Duncan closes the door behind them. <br/><br/>They’ve met all these girls before when they’ve dropped Aiden off for baby showers and when one of his classmates brings their brand new baby home. Soon Lulu and Ashley will give birth and someone new will take their places in the clique for a little while as they recover. The politics of it all has been genuinely fascinating – at least the way Aiden tells it.<br/><br/>“Hello,” Aiden replies. He sits on the couch with a book balanced in what’s left of his lap beyond his belly. No matter how he might tip the page, the shape of his belly still seems like it would present too much of an obstacle for him to be able to actually read more than a couple words. <br/><br/>“Hello, Duncan,” Lulu says. She’s sitting on the couch and her book isn’t even open. She shifts against the cushion and rests her forearm on top of the prominent sphere that has become her belly. Will just hopes she doesn’t give birth right there for the clout and attention.<br/><br/>“Any news?” Will asks, also hoping that they’re not going to make some sort of slumber party out of waiting to be told that the baby has been born.  <br/><br/>“Not yet,” Aiden says. The way he rubs his knuckle against his eye suggests <em>Aiden</em> might not even want to stay up very late. That’s promising. As Aiden tips his head back against the couch cushion, his eyes are tired but his lips still manage to turn in a smirk. “We should have gone to the hospital to offer moral support. Lulu used to be a cheerleader. She could have done a routine.”<br/><br/>“I miss being a cheerleader,” Lulu says with a groan, shaking her hair so that the long, sleek, brown hair in her perfect ponytail swishes from side to side. She pouts her bottom lip ever so slightly as she takes her belly in between her hands and gives it a little shake. She says her words towards her belly more than anyone else, “I’m getting my figure back <em>the second</em> this baby comes. I’m going to get that scholarship.”<br/><br/>Aiden looks at Duncan and though his eyes are heavy-lidded and half-shut, the look in his eyes is meant for the bedroom but not for rest. <br/><br/>“Behave,” Will says with the raise of one brow at his brother. He bends over to pick up the remaining pizza boxes from the table and tries not to let the movement be too awkward when he leans back again. “Let us know if you need anything.”<br/><br/>“I will,” Aiden says and the girls chorus a polite <em>thank you</em>. <br/><br/>Duncan follows Will towards their bedroom, grabbing a couple of sodas from the fridge and a roll of paper towels from the closet on the way. Will sets aside the pizza for a moment while he changes his clothes. The sweatshirt he picks is much baggier and much more forgiving than his work clothes are. When he sits on the bed and looks at his hands, he thinks that the oil under his nails might seem like the only thing that sets him apart from the company in the living room. He might be more similar to the gaggle of pregnant teens than he is to his coworkers. He’s not sure what to think about that. There seems to be nothing and everything wrong with it.<br/><br/>“Those girls will be gossiping as much as the guys at the shop,” he says, reaching for the pizza box and selecting a lukewarm slice of pizza. <br/><br/>Duncan chuckles and takes a bite from his own slice. He wipes the oil from his lips on one of the paper towels. There are the little sounds of crumbs falling from his stubble and landing in good company at the bottom of the cardboard box.<br/><br/>“I saw they tried to talk you,” Will says and then takes a swig from his soda. He swallows and shrugs with his eyebrows. “Were they patting you on the back and giving you a <em>job well done</em>?”<br/><br/>Duncan hums and takes his own swig of soda. “Pretty much.”<br/><br/>“Imagine if they saw the living room,” Will says with a laugh. “They’d think you were running a <em>cult</em> or something. <em>Make love and be plentiful.” <br/></em><br/>He takes the last big bite of his pizza slice and moves the box to the floor. He takes another gulp of his soda to wash the pizza down and then sets that aside too. Once his side of the bed is cleared off, he lies down on his back and closes his eyes. He flattens the fabric of his sweatshirt against his belly and finds himself smiling.<br/><br/><em>“Gather ‘round Duncan and his saintly seed,” </em>Will announces, his hand dipping under the edge of his sweatshirt and touching at bare skin. His thumb traces along the curve as he looks at Duncan and puts on some sort of accent as he recites, <em>“Rub your bellies ‘til salvation comes.”</em><br/><br/>“Stop it,” Duncan says, though the way even <em>he</em> can’t manage to smother away his smile really lessens the impact. When he turns his head to look away, Will might see the faintest pink on his cheeks.<br/><br/>“Tell me what they said,” Will insists as he turns over onto his side and lays his arm much more casually across the side of his belly. “Did they think Aiden was the biggest flirt that ever existed?” <br/><br/>Duncan looks down at his hands and huffs a brief sort of laugh. “I don’t think they know what to think.”<br/><br/>“I don’t doubt it,” he says. Their situation is <em>complex</em> to say the least. “Do we need to be worried?”<br/><br/>Duncan shakes his head and his hair falls from behind his ear. “Some of them think I cheated with you,” he rasps, tearing a bit of paper towel between his fingers. “Some of them think I <em>am</em> cheating with you.”<br/><br/>Will hums and gives a lopsided smile. “Aiden’s center stage as always.”<br/><br/>Duncan drops the bit of paper towel and touches the back of Will’s hand instead. “All the guys at the shop think I’m lucky,” he says as he turns their hands to press their palms together. “The luckiest guy alive.”<br/><br/>Will ducks his head as he laughs and this time <em>he </em>might be the one that’s blushing. “The luckiest guy to <em>still be</em> <em>alive.”<br/></em><br/>“Yeah,” Duncan rasps with a rumbling chuckle. “That was how they said it.”<br/><br/>Will laughs and lets go of Duncan’s hand to grab at his arm instead. He only has to give a bit of a yank before Duncan gets the message and lays down beside him.  <br/><br/>“I am lucky,” Duncan states once Will’s laughter has quieted.  <br/><br/>“Duncan,” Will says as his eyes flit across Duncan’s face, collecting every detail; every new shift and change that Duncan lets himself show still feels rare and precious like its own bit of luck. <br/><br/>“I am,” Duncan insists and he threads his hand into Will’s hair to brush it away. “I know I am.”<br/><br/>“We’re lucky to have you,” Will assures him. He presses a hand to Duncan’s cheek to welcome and encourage him closer. <br/><br/>As Will has grown more and gotten bigger, Duncan has touched his belly less and less, so, of course, Will has been feeling more and more self-conscious. It’s a nasty cycle Will knows he’s stuck in. But knowing he’s <em>stuck</em> doesn’t mean he feels like he knows how to get <em>unstuck</em>. Neither Will nor Duncan have the carefree ease that Aiden’s been blessed with – <em>the little imp</em>. That’s why the cheerleading outfit has been hanging in the closet since they moved in and Duncan’s hand stays in Will’s hair, on his shoulder, and on his back, but hardly ever on his belly. Maybe when the baby kicks hard enough to be felt by someone other than the one who carries them… <br/><br/>For now, Will whispers so very near to Duncan’s lips: “Gather ‘round Duncan. Patient as a saint.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s hot. He feels the sweat in his hair, down the back of his neck, and under his arms. The curl on his forehead might seem to drip with it but he shivers when he drinks down some water. He rubs the cold condensation from the outside of the bottle against his forehead and pats where his cheeks burn red-hot.<br/>
<br/>
Will is not the only one who’s sweating in the shop. One of the air conditioners broke and as much as they can fix cars, they can’t fix a machine that’s truly dead. The bossman says he’ll go out and buy a new one, but that won’t be until the afternoon. In the meantime, there’s plenty of griping and groaning about it – all except Duncan, of course. Though if Duncan were to complain, it probably wouldn’t be about the heat.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan has his hair held back by a black bandana he’s folded on itself and turned into a headband. Still, a bead of sweat drips down the back of his neck and Will feels tempted to touch his chilled fingers – that might even manage to make Duncan <em>shiver</em>. Unfortunately, Will promised to keep things professional and he certainly wouldn’t do that to any of the other guys. Will might already be stretching the limits of professional with the way he bends over and groans just to test Duncan’s patience. But now that the pregnancy has gained an extra layer of intrigue, the guys seem to stare and gape no matter what Will does. So if everyone else is going to do it anyhow, Duncan might as well too.<br/>
<br/>
Will rubs his hand down the front of the sturdy fabric of his uniform. He tucks his hand under the lower curve of his belly to gather the fabric there and accentuate just how round it's gotten. His hand stays there as he bends over the engine, groaning as he looks at all the work there still is to be done even though he and Duncan have been working on this car all day. Will started it off by making a point to remind Duncan that he can’t fit this belly underneath the car unless Duncan jacks it up real high...<br/>
<br/>
Duncan furrowed his brow ever so slightly at that. Maybe he expected that sort of thing from Aiden instead and so Will considered that maybe that’s something that Aiden’s better suited to. He’s considered that before. But then whenever Will asked for a tool, Duncan was ready to hand it to him like he already knew and Will started to notice how little <em>work</em> Duncan was getting done.<br/>
<br/>
Will holds out his hand and smirks when Duncan places a rachet in his palm with a socket and an extension to help Will with his reach. Will’s hand leaves his belly somewhat reluctantly in order to lean further over. His arm wobbles slightly as he braces himself against the awkward shapes that make up everything underneath the hood. He wobbles even more when he pushes himself upright again.<br/>
<br/>
A hand lands heavily on his back as Duncan asks, “Do you want to take a break?”<br/>
<br/>
“I just took a break,” he dismisses with a laugh that he regrets as soon as the jolt of air passes through his throat. He swallows and insists, “I can make it until lunch.”<br/>
<br/>
“You don’t have to wait,” Duncan says, his tone even and his expression neutral when Will turns his head to see it.<br/>
<br/>
He holds out the rachet for Duncan to take and the hand stays on his shoulder as the other takes what he’s being given. “I’m just <em>pregnant</em>, Duncan,” he says, giving a smile that drifts towards a wince.  <br/>
<br/>
Duncan sets aside the tool and doesn’t give Will any replacement. He just says, “I know.”<br/>
<br/>
Will huffs a laugh mostly through his nose and turns his smile into something more like a smirk. “I know you do.”<br/>
<br/>
Will rubs a hand across his belly again, at first just for show, but as his fingers make another trip around, his stomach gives a lurch. It’s a feeling he knows all too well, reminding him of high school restrooms and trying not to make it so obvious that he was casually throwing up and continuing on with his school day. There are only so many reasons a high schooler wouldn’t use that as an excuse to go home.<br/>
<br/>
“Will?”<br/>
<br/>
Will shakes his head and his hand shakes as he brushes it across his lips. The smell of oil hits his nose and his eyes start to water with how much he <em>doesn’t</em> want to throw up on the engine. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe both deeply and not <em>too deep</em>. His gag reflex seems to require a <em>particular</em> amount of control.  <br/>
<br/>
“Will?”<br/>
<br/>
His heart is pounding and he feels flushed. He couldn’t say for sure which happened first: the rushing of his blood or the panic that floods through his veins. And the more his heart pounds, the woozier he feels. And the woozier he feels, the more panic crawls its way up his throat. He wants to step down – he <em>should</em> step down – but he can’t trust that his foot will find its way.<br/>
<br/>
It doesn’t matter; he’s already falling.<br/>
<br/>
<em>“Will!”<br/>
</em><br/>
He feels the air whooshing by as his brain might seem to slosh in his skull. He doesn’t have the time to expect to hit the ground, but as soon as he’s blinking up at Duncan, he realizes it’s not concrete he feels against his back.<br/>
<br/>
“Duncan,” Will gasps, his mouth dry and lips cracking.<br/>
<br/>
His mind and heart might give in at once as his body goes lax in Duncan’s arms. His consciousness might float in and out. He might be aware of the flicker of red lights against the backs of his eyelids and the way his body is lifted for him. What he might know for sure is how his fingers twitch and feel cold as soon as Duncan’s hand slips away. They don’t regain their warmth until he blinks his eyes open and Aiden’s there.<br/>
<br/>
There’s an IV stuck into the back of his left hand and if he thinks about the needle, it hurts more. He moves that hand slowly and carefully to press against where his belly is covered by thin, coarse blankets. His eyes might need more time to adjust to harsh hospital light and how it casts itself unforgivingly across the place where his baby is growing.  <br/>
<br/>
“The baby’s okay,” Aiden tells him as he squeezes Will’s hand harder. “How do you feel?”<br/>
<br/>
“Relieved,” Will says as he wills away the clench of his heart and the worry that's aching within his ribcage.<br/>
<br/>
“That makes three of us,” Aiden says. He’s leaned over with his elbows braced on the bed. It can’t be comfortable with how his back must feel strained, but there doesn’t seem to be any way to sit particularly comfortably in the chair by Will’s side. Aiden raises his brows and remarks, “You scared <em>Duncan</em>.”<br/>
<br/>
Will frowns and looks around, wishing Duncan from around a corner like Duncan returns from a smoke break, disappearing and reappearing with quiet subtlety. “Where is he?”<br/>
<br/>
“He went to get me something to eat,” Aiden explains with a smile that has a lopsided tilt. “He doesn’t need both of us in the hospital.”<br/>
<br/>
“That’s it then?” Will asks. When he clenches his hand, he’s reminded of the needle again and that the curve of his belly is still what he remembers from all the cradling and touching he’d done earlier in the day.<br/>
<br/>
Aiden’s smile gets a little less lopsided and a little more pleased as he says, “Duncan’s making sure they check everything just to be sure.”<br/>
<br/>
Will sighs and tilts his head back against the pillow. His headache is duller but it’s still there, perhaps more about tension now than whatever combination of exhaustion, heat, and hunger came over him before.   <br/>
<br/>
“You have to take care of yourself,” Aiden says. When he looks down, his eyelashes fan out to frame the faraway melancholy in his eyes. His hair seems flatter, the curls lacking some of the life and twist that they usually have.<br/>
<br/>
“I know,” he replies. He recalls waving off Duncan’s concerns, thinking he was worrying too much, thinking he was underestimating what Will could do when what Will does best is <em>push through</em>.  <br/>
<br/>
Aiden shakes his head and gives a bitter sort of laugh. “No, you don’t.”<br/>
<br/>
“Aiden—"<br/>
<br/>
“Are you unhappy?” his little brother asks, eyes shining ever so slightly and his lips moving quietly as he works out what to say and how. He rubs his thumb over the back of Will’s knuckles like he can see the blood still there, as if there were any marks left behind to show what those hands have done when Aiden’s wellbeing put first. “Do you wish you hadn’t let me convince you?”<br/>
<br/>
“Of course not,” Will says right away, without hesitation. The baby sits heavy in his belly and the little one feels even more <em>there</em> with any possibility or suggestion that they might not be.<br/>
<br/>
“I just want you to feel happy like I do,” Aiden says, voice quiet and soft. He smiles slightly, but with his head ducked that smile seems neither directed towards Will nor away from him. It just <em>is</em>. “Because this morning I was thinking that it was the happiest I’ve ever been.”<br/>
<br/>
Will doesn’t usually think about being happy, not like he thinks about being worried or stressed. He feels it; he knows he does. He feels happiness and then fears losing it. If he’s taking the time now to think about his happiness instead of his worry, he realizes this may be the least stressed he’s ever been and the happiness might seem like it could held onto. He squeezes against Aiden’s hand and assures him, “I am happy.”<br/>
<br/>
Aiden lays his other hand against Will’s belly so that their fingers brush but he stays clear of the tape against the back of Will’s hand. “This baby is my baby too,” Aiden reminds him. There’s no mistaking that the tears in his eyes and smile on his lips are both for Will. “You want to take care of us? Taking care of <em>us</em> means also taking care of <em>you</em>. We won’t be okay if you’re not.”<br/>
<br/>
Will wishes it didn’t feel so impossible to sit up and curl over. He would really like to press a kiss to the top of Aiden’s head. He’d love to press his nose into the curls and smell <em>home</em> instead of hospital. He really would do <em>anything</em> for his little brother. It wouldn’t make any sense to break that pattern just to spite himself.  “Okay,” he says, hoping his affection comes through as he says it.<br/>
<br/>
“Okay,” Aiden agrees just the same way, and Will’s sure he feels the affection as he hears it.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan returns bearing a plastic bag with a Styrofoam container held within. The bandana is no longer holding back his hair and some of the slightly oily strands hang against his forehead. A sigh of relief leaves Duncan’s chest and passes through his lips and Will feels the same rush of air himself, the exhale before a breath of fresh air.<br/>
<br/>
Aiden groans as he uses both hands against the armrests to push himself up and out of his chair. He gives Duncan a kiss on his cheek where the stubble might be five o’clock shadow if the shadows are cast particularly long. “Thank you,” Aiden praises as he takes the bag from Duncan’s hand and takes his leave.<br/>
<br/>
Both Will and Duncan watch Aiden go and let silence extend after he’s left. When Duncan sits in the chair Aiden left behind, he fills the space differently than Aiden did. There’s tension held in his shoulders and his back curves under the weight of the world.<br/>
<br/>
“Aiden already gave me a talking to,” Will says, making it a little wry to help with the sting of it.<br/>
<br/>
Duncan hums and nods. He looks so tired in these harsh, unforgiving lights. Under his eyes is darker and his frown is deeper.<br/>
<br/>
“I should have listened to you,” Will continues and feels himself put on the spot as if the lights are punishing him too by sizzling against his skin. “I’m sorry I’m so stubborn.”<br/>
<br/>
Duncan hums again. “I’m used to it.”<br/>
<br/>
“Duncan,” he says, voice cracking in a way that seems like crying and begging at once. It’s a strange sound to Will’s ears, but that only emphasizes the truth of it. <em>“Please.”</em><br/>
<br/>
Duncan looks up at him and even though it feels awfully, painfully obvious and vulnerable, Will turns over his hand for Duncan to take – which, <em>of course</em>, Duncan does. Will pulls on his hand insistently enough to pull at Duncan’s arm and encourage him up into the bed. In a bed that's not made for two and not exactly made for comfort, it takes some maneuvering to fit them both and not mess any up any of the medical stuff too badly.<br/>
<br/>
As they settle into the comfort of sharing in each other’s touch, Will guides Duncan’s hand to press against where Will can feel the baby kick and shift around. It takes a moment of pause and then Duncan presses his fingers against the curve and feels the swell in ways he’s not yet dared to do. It feels good and it <em>hurts</em> when Will feels <em>so much</em> and he <em>wants</em>. He has more than he’s ever had before and has more to lose; wanting even more than that has seemed so…<em>uneasy.</em><br/>
<br/>
“Try not to be scared,” Duncan murmurs as he rubs his thumb against Will’s belly. He might feel the kicks there or might just seem to instinctively <em>know </em>that's where the baby shifts towards. “You make mistakes when you’re afraid.”<br/>
<br/>
“Then I must be afraid all the time,” Will says, trying to joke but as the words strike too deep, tears start to fall. His inhale is wet with more tears and his exhale is a sob. He tilts his head to press his tear-damp cheek against Duncan’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispers, tone kept quiet not from secrecy or shame but because it feels like the hush that carries dedication and respect. “It was a mistake not to tell you sooner.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’ve loved you for a long time,” Duncan rasps. “Mistakes or no mistakes. Afraid and brave.”<br/>
<br/>
Will’s heart might break and mend at once. Feeling love – <em>true</em> love, <em>deep</em> love – from someone other than Aiden isn’t something Will understands easily. And if there’s anyone to understand that, it’s Duncan. As hard as it is for Will to fathom, Duncan might know just as much about Will as Aiden does. Will isn’t sure he ever thought that would be possible. He didn’t think to expect to be known and loved like this.<br/>
<br/>
“We’re a family,” Duncan reminds him as he presses a kiss to Will’s head. “If you’re afraid, I want to make it better.”<br/>
<br/>
“You do,” Will assures him. He needs Duncan to know that too. Duncan was his best friend before he was Will’s companion in keeping Aiden happy, before Duncan became his partner in everything. He has given Will someone to lean on without ever even a whisper of a complaint or mention of burden. “You always have.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yet another project with Bee! A big thank you as always for developing these ideas with me.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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